Nurse the Hate: Hate the Q&A

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I just dropped some jack betting on the Miss USA pageant tonight. I’ll tell you what, with a little research, this little adventure may pay off. The odds are between 10-1 and 40-1 for the girls I’m “on”, and that’s the kind of action everyone likes. Plus, I have an image of myself later tonight extremely intoxicated yelling at Miss Texas on the TV for screwing up her Q&A. “Goddammit!!!!! What do you want if you could have one wish come true???? World peace! World fucking peace! God damn you!!! Who wishes for a new Corvette and a Blackberry!!!????!!! You fucking whore!!!!! WHORE!!!!”. It will be an ugly and a horrible public spectacle.

I surfed around and discovered some blogs from people that appear to be very involved in the sick world of beauty pageants. The Rubes are on Miss Massachusetts at 8-1. That seems like the Kentucky Derby favorite that never comes in. Sure, she won a Miss Teen USA pageant in 2005, but what have you done for me lately? That’s like assuming Steve McNair will win the NFL MVP because he did when he was a Titan. Wise up…This little event is a southern thing. I think the people of The South are the ones that produce the winners of events like this. These girls aren’t using it as a spring board for something else. No sir. These girls are in it for the purity of the sport. That’s why I put down some scratch on Miss Texas, Miss Tennessee, Miss South Carolina, and Miss Arkansas. It feels good to participate in something so wholesome, and so American!

Side Note: The new REM record is really great. I thought it was all hype, but it’s really good. I find myself humming the tunes in my head all the time. I can’t believe these guys stepped up and made a record that sounds like Document Part 2. Their last few records have been dodgy (at best). I'm sure they lost quite a few of you along the way. I'm telling you though, this here is the goods. Congrats to those guys… I would also run out immediately and go get the new Raveonettes record. Oh yeah, and where the hell have I been? News flash! Willie Nelson has some really cool shit beyond the hits. I put on my pirate eye patch and downloaded some shit from the library…Get on the Twins tonight. Livan Hernandez is going off as a dog, and he’s been a witch so far…I’m 7-1 on baseball this season. Catch the wave Baby!