Nurse the Hate: Hate Michael Jackson

Does it seem odd to anyone else that after ten years of labeling Michael Jackson a pedophile that it has all been swept under the rug after his death? Each Network is trying to out gush the other on the social impact and import of Jackson, when it seems apparent to even the most casual onlooker that he was a washed up pop star. That was mentally ill. And liked to have inappropriate relationships with young boys.

You would have thought that it was the Kennedy assassination the way the spectacle has unfolded. Al Sharpton, wedging Jessie Jackson out for the coveted “black spiritual leader” role, attempted to build a case that Jackson’s popularity allowed Obama to get elected. Can you imagine if Obama had posed for a picture with Michael Jackson leading up to the election? That’s what you want if you are running for the leader of the free world all right… A nice picture of you standing next to Michael Jackson telling the world, “Yes, I am in favor of slumber parties with young boys and plastic surgery to turn yourself into The Joker!”

If Jackson wasn’t a kazillionaire, he would have been locked up years ago. Remember, he had been in show business since he was a little kid. He knew how to answer interview questions “correctly”. He had to have been coached into answering questions about his relationship with kids like “I love children, and would never have an inappropriate relationship with a child. Due to the degree of my celebrity, people try to misconstrue my relationship with children. I just have the financial resources to allow disadvantaged kids to have a great time at my Ranch under the supervision of their parents or guardians. There’s nothing going on here. It’s outrageous to even suggest it.”

Instead, he’s talking about slumber parties and how much he loves kids. He had the best public relations people in the world working for him, but he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing because he was mentally ill. You don’t pay off millions of dollars to families that had brought allegations of improprieties unless there is some truth to what they are saying. I’ve been at jobs where settlements were reached in sexual harassment cases, and you know what? Every single time the person in question was guilty as hell.

The thing this brings into focus is what America loves more than anything else. America loves celebrity. The way it works in the United States is like this. Step 1: The public makes you a giant star. They can’t get enough of you. You are wonderful. Step 2: The public looks for chinks in the armor. It’s time to tear you down. Step 3: You have been discarded and disgraced. You are the punch line of our jokes. Step 4: The comeback… the sweetest of all steps is The Comeback. It’s when the public fondly remembers why they loved you in the first place, and forgives your sins. (See Spears, Brittany for reference)

This particular Comeback is perfect for The Public as Michael can’t show up and start saying crazy shit. The persona can now be molded exactly how we want it to be for the next week. But look out! Starting late next week, I would look for the start of Step 2. We’re all going to want the ugly details of the past to come out into the harsh light of day. After that we can all ready ourselves for Step 4 and the inevitable Jacksons Tour…

Random Notes: I think we should gather up all the people that gathered at the Staple Center days before the funeral waving homemade signs and bus them out to “re-education camps” in the California desert. This may be a dangerous idea, but I remind you, these are dangerous times… The Steve McNair episode reminds all of us the simple rule of dating. It’s not “Don’t date crazy chicks.” but “Don’t date crazy chicks with guns.”…It’s a real drag that I bought advance tickets to 10 Indians games, and now I have to watch meaningless baseball. How does a team some picked for the World Series end up out of it by Memorial Day? The only good of it has been the windfall of cash in betting against them....Here’s some CDs I would buy if I were you: Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses “Roadhouse Sun”, and the Tarbox Ramblers (either of ‘em).