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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Nurse the Hate: Hate The Ravens



Every time I walk past a TV I see video of Ray Lewis doing that stupid dance of his in slow motion with the announcers intoning about "Life After Ray Lewis For The Ravens".  You would think the guy died, not torn his triceps.  Let's not lose our minds here.  Ray Lewis is a 37 year old linebacker.  The Ravens defense has been coasting on reputation for quite some time now.  That Super Bowl win was in 2000.  You remember 2000?  Our greatest manufactured fears were The Millenium Effect when all the computers were supposedly going to go awry and robots would rule the earth.  Wasn't Civilization as we knew it supposed to end?  I don't even think my microwave missed a step.  That was a looonnnngggg time ago.

Let's talk about the Ravens.  This Ravens team isn't a team that beats you 13-6.  They beat you 31-28.  They are 26th in team defense going into this week.  They give up about the same amount of yards as Carolina and Oakland.  Would you be freaking out if Rolondo McClain got hurt in Oakland?  Do you have any idea who Rolondo McClain is?  I didn't either until I looked him up on the Oakland depth chart and found out he was the middle linebacker.  In the Ravens game against Houston this week, I don't think anyone is stopping anyone.  This feels like a three point game to me, not seven and a half. Take Baltimore +7.5.

Despite not being very interested in the Green Bay Packers, I think I have seen every single one of their games.  The Network loves to put them on the national broadcast so we can all hear about the hallowed ground of Lambeau Field and how wonderful Packer fans are.  Yeah, those pasty fat fuckers pack themselves into their cold weather gear and get all worked up, don't they?.  It looks great on TV.  It looks like it always has while the breathless praise for Bret Favre transitioned smoothly into breathless praise for Aaron Rodgers.  The one thing I have noticed this year is something none of the announcers have mentioned.  The Packers aren't very good.  They are 3-3 and have only covered twice.  Both of their covers were when the opposing QB threw a shitload of interceptions.   The problem this week is Bradford hasn't been throwing interceptions for St Louis.

So this week The Pack goes to the not so hallowed turf of whatever corporation sponsors that awful looking dome they dropped downtown near the good looking baseball stadium in St Louis.  St Louis is about as low profile an NFL franchise as you can get.  I think know three players on the Rams.  Two if Marshall Faulk retired.  Is he still playing?  How about that Kurt Warner fella?  How's that silver haired wife of his?  I'm not even sure if the St Louis Rams games are even televised.  No casual bettor will drop a dime on St Louis.  If you listen carefully you can hear some twenty five year old guys that went to a bachelor party at the Mirage this weekend tell each other how much the Rams suck and the Pack are a lock.  One of those guys, the one in the Tapout t-shirt and tribal band tattoo is shuffling his flip flops to the counter to drop $100 on The Pack right now.  Not me.  I'm taking St Louis +5.

Current Record Against The Spread:  5-5

     

  


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