I saw another one today.
The Punk Rock Appalachian Hobo look has migrated to NE Ohio is all of
its glory. I saw the guy when I worked
out today. Allow me to say that it is
tough to look 1934 when you are in mesh shorts, Nikes, and a Cleveland State
t-shirt. The good news was his haircut
and mustache still looked resplendent.
He was a real Dapper Dan man, his mustache carefully coiffed. I’m confident his Model T was parked
outside. After his run, he may have gone
home and listened to some Reverend F.W. McGee 78s. That “Fifty Miles of Elbow Room” really cooks!
I don’t understand where this Depression Era look is coming
from. I have a theory though. I think we can all agree that “the ironic
mustache” has been on the scene much longer than any of us anticipated. I saw an entire army of Ironic Mustaches in
Austin at SXSW. It’s got to be a drag to
be The Cool Guy in your local scene with your ironic mustache and white
sunglasses, hop in the van to go to SXSW where you anticipate being The Cool
Guy there, and discover that everyone there looks exactly like you do. My guess is that a lot of guys asked each
other how long they had been in possession of their ironic mustache, and then
argued about who the first one was “on the scene” with this special facial
hair. A lot of fellas would have
realized they were late to the party, and the party was much bigger than any of
them had anticipated. That would have
been a moment of real soul searching for many hipster dudes.
I believe that many of these same men went back to their
respective homes and plotted on their next fashion turn. Obviously much effort had been placed into
looking like no effort had been placed into their existing mustaches. The only way to go would be to boomerang in
the opposite direction, and take great obvious care and pride in the
mustache. Next thing you know you’re
watching an episode of “Boardwalk Empire” or maybe checking out a Mumford and
Sons photo in Rolling Stone. Bingo. You are back in business.
Roots and retro music guys have always loved to be
exclusionary. Rockabilly guys get pissed
if you don’t have a pomp, upright bass, and a flaming eight ball tattoo. Americana guys like John Deere hats and
beards. Garage rock gets angry if your
gear isn’t retro and you are in the wrong jacket. Bluegrass has so many rules you need to read
a book just to understand why the band you like that appeared to be playing
bluegrass in fact “isn’t really
playing bluegrass”. To create a hard to
pinpoint subgenre where you have to be heavily tattooed, play acoustic
instruments and look vaguely like Les Claypool in 1928 is about as exclusionary
as you can get. Get five of you together
to start busking in tourist areas, and you are totally in business. Gentlemen, I salute you.
The problem with this subgenre will obviously be the
graceful exit from the scene. Let’s be
honest. At some point you are going to
get sick of living in a one room apartment with four other dudes, their thrift
store wardrobes, the two communal dogs, and the three crab ridden girls that
smell like mold and patchouli. There you
are with banjo skills, a Sailor Jerry looking pinup tattoo on your neck, and
maybe an antique pickup truck. There’s
plenty of rebuilding to be done from that point, and none of that rebuilding
will include the phrase “high paying job”.
It may include “working for my Dad” or “bartending school” though.
It’s very confusing how this will all play out. Most people under the age of 30 have no
interest our band, and we are a pretty easy entry into American roots. I have a hard time believing that Carter
Family records are going to shoot up the charts. Is that kid I see at the intersection wearing
the dungarees perched impossibly below his ass going to reject the musical
catalogue of Pitbull and embrace the Monroe Brothers? I don’t think so, but then again I have been
wrong many times in the past. Just to be
safe, anyone have a mandolin for sale?
And mustache wax?
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