I woke up this morning with the full expectation of seeing
bodies stacked in New York, all hope lost, and a population reduced to cannibalism. For a full 48 hours the media bludgeoned me
with a non-stop barrage of breathless headlines. The Biggest Blizzard In NYC History. Record Snowfalls. Two to Three Feet. Complete closures of all forms of
transportation just to try and minimalize death and mayhem. Once the proverbial snowball started rolling,
there was no stopping it. The
unquenchable thirst of the never ending news cycle made coverage take on
increasingly hysterical tones and the overreaction of the population matched
the rhetoric. I especially enjoyed
seeing footage of elderly women fighting over cans of soup at a New York
grocery store yesterday afternoon.
This morning brought the realization that six to eight
inches fell in New York. Six to eight
inches? What the fuck… A decent snowfall to be sure, but this certainly
did not justify the closure of all roadways, subways, and airports. The media then spent the morning reporting on
lost revenue for the region due to all the closures (which they helped create
in the first place) and took on the tone of “Phew! What a close call!”. This eerily matched the failure of last year’s
“Snowmageddon” to transpire. They used
the same playbook last year as well, portraying all the residents they had
terrified the previous day as being “lucky”.
Once again the boy has cried “wolf” and we have all taken the bait.
I don’t know how any of those assholes that spent yesterday
warning NYC about impending doom can stand in front of a camera and pretend to
offer any expertise. What most of the population
does not realize is that the vast majority of these people whipping the
population into frenzy are C-students from broadcast schools, a curriculum
about as challenging as cosmetology school.
To put it bluntly, the analysis of world events and current dangers are being filtered for you by people
that are as qualified to sort this information as “Krystal” the single mother
chain smoking serial bad decision girl in tight pants that cuts your hair. I mean, sure, there’s a few people that have
some smarts, but how can anyone digesting this media be expected to know who
knows something and who won a State Fair Beauty Contest and can read a
teleprompter?
Now the storm is going to hit New England. The coverage will take on a much less hysterical
tone as New England is used to getting hit crappy weather, but more importantly
as all media is centered in New York, the media outlets won’t care as
much. For example, if NE Ohio gets six
to eight inches of snow it would not even garner more than a “…and snowfall
across Ohio…” brief mention. When this
same weather hits New York, it becomes a Category One Emergency. “Don’t you understand? This is happening to US! IT’S REAL NOW!”.
Most people that live in New York, or “The City” as it is
commonly called, are under the impression that it is the only place on the
planet with value. They are positive of
this as they spend 100% of their time in their local 10-12 block area and
assure each other consistently how much vastly superior they are to “Flyover
Country”. While most of them live a lifestyle akin to an
Urban Serf, laboring consistently to pay inflated rent for shithole apartments
to allow them to theoretically attend unique cultural events that they won’t actually
attend because they can’t afford it, they will all smugly let you know that
they live in The City. You are but a
small furry animal. They have evolved
well beyond you.
As I trudged around outside in the snow with the hounds and
10 degree temperatures, I thought of The City.
I thought, “what a bunch of pussies”.
I hope they had their hard fought cans of soup and are snuggled up in
their roach infested shithole apartments and are watching CNN show their clear empty
streets while the rest of us slide our way to our jobs like normal. In theory we should line up some of these “journalists”
that created this national slowdown and create a real media event, but public
executions are so Spanish Inquisition and “out” this year.
I’ll tell you this about the next “White Death Monster Fuck
Storm”. I will believe it when I see it.
the late night news coverage was amazing.by midnight they were showing footage of other blizzards and still railing on and on of the impending danger.
ReplyDeletethe best thing was when a young incredibly concerned Msnbc reporter on the streets was talking to a city worker sitting in a plow truck.
she asked him inane questions about the amount of preparations they had done.he'd been there since 5 o clock. she finally says when is the storm going to hit.
he says "oh its gonna hit around midnight"
it was around 2:30 a.m.