I was briefly deflated when a concerned friend forwarded me
an article about a man that was dragged overboard from a fishing boat after
hooking a marlin. His boat just kept
moving ahead without a skipper, leaving him alone in the Pacific. The man floated around in the ocean for six
hours and by sheer chance was found by a passing boat. He was suffering from shock, hypothermia, and
probably embarrassment. I think the
reason this article was sent to me was to dissuade me from this doomed fishing
expedition idea I have in Cuba. If
anything, it has made my resolve only stronger.
I could not be any more qualified.
Yesterday I was working out with well over eighty (80) pounds of weight
for some back exercises, so I cannot imagine me having any problem wrestling a six
hundred (600) pound angry billfish into a leaky boat in angry Caribbean Seas. My lack of experience will be no factor in
this mission.
Where lack of experience will
be a factor is in the NFL Playoffs this weekend. Three (3) starting QBs are replacing the “real”
starter. Oakland’s QB Connor Cook has
had so little playing time that one of Oakland’s starting tackles noted “he
didn’t even know what his voice sounded like” until practice this week. That doesn’t sound like a good indication of
a team about to play well. Meanwhile the
Texans will start the completely ineffective Brock Osweiler. The
Houston Texans thought it was a good idea to give Osweiler $72 million to start
at QB, which is roughly the same as giving Matt Flynn $72 million. Osweiler is playing just like everyone in the
league but Houston thought he would.
Houston is like a buddy of yours that buys a Mercury Lynx and then asks
you with optimistic eyes “Pretty kick ass car, right?”.
This begs the question, which is the way to go? Take Oakland with a guy that has never played
or Houston with a guy that has played pretty poorly? It is really difficult to build up much
enthusiasm for either argument. Betting
on this game is admitting to the world that you have a problem. No one wants to see someone reeling around a
sports bar smelling of bourbon screaming at Brock Osweiler or Connor Cook. It’s
absolutely pathetic to think that is even a possibility for some
degenerates. Betting on this game is a
flare gun shot up saying “help me” in flashing letters. By the way, I am on OVER 36.5.
I cannot feel any stronger about Seattle beating
Detroit. Detroit has that Great Lakes
area cloud of doom that floats over them like a cloud of pollution. The last playoff game the Lions won was in
1957. You know how I make shit up with
crazy sounding stats? This isn’t one of
them. 1957. Leather Tuscadero was still cranking out the
hits back then. So now the Lions are
going to fly out to Seattle and win there in January against a surging Seahawk
team? I cannot construct a scenario in
my mind where a bunch of guys in Lion uniforms are dancing around while
dejected Seahawk fans file out of the stadium in stupid face paint. I can’t do it. Seattle
-8.
Season Record: 28-13
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