Nurse the Hate: Comrade Trump II

It is difficult to understand the strategy of Comrade Trump at first glance.  One would think that the best plan to move ahead on the presidential agenda would be to quiet the Russia talk and push legislation ahead.  This would be true if we were talking about a sensible human being.  Instead, Comrade Trump decided to send out a completely baseless and inflammatory idea about the former president Saturday morning at 630 am via Twitter.  It’s beyond comprehension.  It’s like the nation elected Leo president.  At any given time you are prepared to hear something crazy about Leo.  Then when something happens, it is actually so much crazier than you imagined that you are still stunned despite being 100% prepared to have been stunned in the first place.  As Leo has told me, "Dude, I live my life second to second."  That's awesome in a friend, but maybe not so awesome in the leader of the free world.

What must be the worst job in the world is to be a White House spokesperson.  Imagine if you were in one of those jobs on Saturday morning.  You would be comfortably sleeping at home, feeling somewhat secure because Comrade Trump is in Florida playing nine and walking around his country club.  How much trouble can he cause?  Maybe you are planning to run the kids over to their soccer game and picking up a new bathmat at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  It’s going to be a nice little Saturday.  At 6:31a the phone rings.  Hello?  “Have you seen your email yet?”  Umm what?  What time is it?  “The Boss said Obama fucked dogs in the Oval Office.”  He said what?  Did someone hack his account or something?  “Be at the office in a half hour.  Scrap all the shit we planned to say on Meet The Press tomorrow.  We need to come up with some bullshit on this.”  And with that, there will be no new bathmat…

So now these people are forced to go on national TV to discuss the President’s baseless claim that Obama fucked dogs.  It took them about 12 hours but they cobbled together what they could.  Every national press show I saw had a version of this exchange.  Yesterday Comrade Trump said Obama fucked dogs.  What did he base this on?  “If this happened, we need to find out for the good of the nation.”  Yes, but there is absolutely no evidence that Obama fucked any dogs.  In fact, everyone that owns dogs that works in the White House said they don’t even bring their dogs to work.  “Listen, all we are saying is if the former president did fuck these dogs, the American People have a right to know.  We need to launch an investigation into this Obama dog fucking situation.”  But there is no situation…  “How do we know if we don’t investigate?  If there is going to be an investigation of these absurd Russia claims, then we need to also have a dogfucking investigation.”  But every single person in the White House has rushed forward to say that the President didn't fuck any dogs and that this is a complete lie.  "Well, we won't know for sure until we investigate it, will we?"

It's like talking to someone in an insane asylum.

It would almost be comforting to think that Comrade Trump and his people are seven moves ahead.  While we and the rest of the planet are playing checkers, they are playing some version of 11^th Dimensional Chess.  Their behavior is so absurd and detached from reality that the mind wants to drift there as a possible explanation.  It would be nice to think that we are in good hands.  However, with the simplest explanation generally being the correct one, I think we need to accept the idea that these people are the complete fucktards that they appear to be.  The leader of the free world tweeted that Obama wiretapped him, called him a “sick guy”, waited about 45 minutes and then tweeted about his old reality show.  That is our reality show.  Welcome to the cast. 

Comrade Trump has access to completely unfettered intelligence.  He can get a complete report prepared by experts on anything he desires.  Unfortunately, Comrade Trump gets his news from Alt Right websites and cable TV.   It reminds me of when an old roommate’s mother used to talk about crazy “news” stories of UFOs and conspiracy theories that we had never heard.  Mom?  Where did you hear that?  “I read it in the newspaper.”  What newspaper?  “The one from the grocery store.”  Mom…  The Weekly World News isn’t real.  (Insert photo of his mother smugly smiling and shaking her head like we were fools.)  Comrade Trump decided to tweet that Obama tapped his phones based on a British blogpost.  That's the same as him tweeting about my old ventriloquist days.

This behavior from Comrade Trump is outrageously out of bounds.  It is completely without precedent.  Trump makes Nixon look reasonable.  The Trump supporters were so excited when he was able to read that teleprompter in front of Congress last week.  Really, that’s all anyone is looking for at this point.  Just pretend to be a president.  The bar is set incredibly low.  There are real problems to be solved.  Not created.  Comrade Trump needs to be removed from office.  While these wildass tweets were a fun diversion during the primaries, these now have the weight of the presidency behind them.  These absolute lies undermine the nation.  Trump has made our nation weaker.  This job appeared to be too big for Comrade Trump during the campaign.  That has only proven to be true with stunning clarity as each day passes.  He is the complete disaster as anyone with even a lick of sense predicted.  Comrade Trump doesn’t want to govern.  He takes every weekend off to go to Florida to golf for God’s sake.  He is unfit for office. 

Comrade Trump must go.