Nurse the Hate: NFL Week 10

I’m feeling very fancy today.  I’m having a reflective espresso, listening to Wagner “Dritter Aufzug-Act 3” from The Ring Cycle.  I will admit that was a bit of a shock as it came through in a random shuffle after Johnny Cash’s version of “Rowboat”, but I’m going with it.  I still use my iPod.  At this point it makes me a “product laggard”, though if I wait it out long enough I will become “ironic” in my embrace of outdated technology.  I held onto all of my records in much the same way.  Who’s laughing now you smug millennial hipster shits?  While you are paying though the nose for vintage punk records, I can serenely put my original colored vinyl copy of “Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables” on the turntable with the $3.99 price sticker plainly visible on the cover.  It’s the small victories.

The iPod made another radical left turn into The Cure.  For some reason I have been hearing a lot of Cure records in bizarre places.  I was looking at a shelf of aged Riojas in a fabulous wine shop in Newton MA when “Pictures of You” came across the store sound system.  “Friday I’m In Love” hit me walking into a restaurant yesterday.  When Sugar was driving us home in the van after a gig a couple weeks ago we had an “All Sugar, All Request Cure Blitz” that lasted about 90 minutes.  Those guys have a stack of great songs.  Are The Cure back in cultural good graces?  Did that happen without anyone telling me?   

I was listening to “10:15 Saturday Night” when an article in the Times caught my eye.  Apparently the new tax cuts, which were going to shower us all with untold wealth, need to be modified by Congress.  It turns out if no one pays taxes, the government can't pay for all the things they bought.  In even more surprising news, the Middle Class will have to pay more taxes.  Here's the good news.  The ultra high earners and corporations will receive a massive windfall of cash.  Who could have seen that coming?  What are the odds that a bunch of old rich white guys that hang with and are funded by corporate goons would take care of each other and fuck the rest of us?  I looked it up.  The odds were 100%.

That’s the key.  Knowing the odds.  For example, the Patriots are 20-4 after a bye week.  This week they get to play the Broncos with The Brock Osweiler Experiment entering week 2.  I watched the Broncos get their dicks kicked in by the Eagles last week.  I had money on the Broncos with the basic assumption that no one could be worse than deposed QB Trevor Semien.  I was wrong.  I was very, very wrong.  Brock Osweiler will not transform the Broncos into a legit top tier team.  He will instead throw into triple coverage and miss open receivers.  Meanwhile the Patriots have quietly fixed their defense.  They are making all the adjustments they always do and are favored to win the Super Bowl again.  Always bet the trend, not against it.  You will pay more taxes and the Patriots will win many football games.  

I am going to tie the Patriots into the Chicago Bears on a parlay.  I normally don’t bet on the Bears.  I also don’t watch many Bears games as they haven’t been interesting since 1986.  However, they get to play the Packers at home this week.  Before Aaron Rodgers got hurt, the Packers were fearsome.  Now they are something to be pitied.  I feel sorry for those husky men and women in Wisconsin in their little cheese hats.  Backup QB Hundley looks totally out of his element.  I got a job at a restaurant once as a “cook”.  I felt qualified to do this job as I had spent four months as a line cook at Schmidt’s Sausage Haus in Columbus.  Note the use of the word “Haus” in the restaurant name.  It’s how you can tell cooks steeped in Old World Tradition (like myself) would serve you authentic cuisine.  With that confidence I swaggered into the new cook job at some shitty spot near my house.  They asked me to make the quiche of the day.  From scratch.  I had the same expression on my face that the Packers Bret Hundley has on his face.  I got a call at home after my shift ended letting me know they “wouldn’t need me”.  Hundley will receive a call like that in a couple of months from the Packers.  Bears/Patriots moneyline.

I am going to bet on the Chargers again.  The Chargers are something you can bank on.  They scratch and claw their way into almost winning all of their games.  They only win about 40% of them, but they are almost always close.  It’s because they reliably finish 6-10/7-9 that The Public assumes the Chargers are terrible.  They aren’t terrible.  They just aren’t good enough to win that often.  The Chargers have beaten Jacksonville the last six times they have played them though.  I am not completely bought in on the Jags yet.  They beat the shit teams like they are supposed to, but they have that scent to them of those Texans teams that always get smoked in the Wild Card game.  I bet the Jags win this game by a field goal after a gut wrenching mistake made by someone in a powder blue jersey.  The good news is that the Chargers are getting five and a hook.  Phillip Rivers will be looking pissed off while walking off the field, but it will be all smiles in NE Ohio.  Chargers +5.5   

        

Season Record:  9-11-1