Nurse the Hate: NFL Week 11

There are things that must be absolutes to be able to live a tethered life.  There must be some sort of foundation or there is chaos.  One of the only things I can recall from the three sociology classes I took was the concept of “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs”.  The idea is that life is a pyramid where the most basic physical needs must be addressed first, like air to breath and a water supply.  From there it goes to shelter/safety, love and belonging, to esteem all the way to the lofty goal of self-actualization.  The interesting thing about that class was that I took it with a girlfriend that betrayed my trust in the midst of learning this.  I was able to see that while I thought I was scratching towards “self-actualization”, with a swift turn of events I tumbled well below “esteem” and was left picking up the shattered pieces of “love and belonging”.    

We did that thing where we sat as far apart from each other as possible in the class and pretended the other didn’t exist.  Meanwhile we both almost blew out our eye sockets straining to see out of the corners of our eyes looking at each other for a sign of weakness.  It was a sick and counterproductive final few weeks of the semester.  Probably because of the personal drama I was involved in, I was always able to remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  Each moment of the lecture I was able to narcissistically apply to myself.  “Yes!  Maslow you’ve really got it figured out!  You know exactly what a horrible woman can do to a man!”  I must have listened to a lot of slow Cure records during that time.  Thank God I didn’t know about The Swans then.  Or heroin.

The fact remains that there must be certainties in life.  You need to feel like the earth is solid below your feet as you try to become the best version of “you” that is possible.  Life is like a wobbly house of cards.  At any moment it can collapse and you can be forced to re-evaluate back from the bottom.  There needs to be at least something that is known to be true.  However, no matter how far you tumble down the pyramid, there is solace in knowing that the Cleveland Browns are terrible and will remain so ever more.

The Browns feel really good about themselves after their game with the Lions.  They played, easily, their best game of the year.  At times they appeared to be a competitive NFL Football Team.  What has been lost in this feel-good story is they still lost by 14 points and the Lions easily covered the spread.  Now the Browns are at home against the Jacksonville Jaguars, a team that has been slowly building themselves into a defensive force with high draft picks.  The Jags are sort of like the anti-Browns, where the players they have drafted have turned out to be good.  The Jags hit the QB so often that the team has earned the nickname “Sacksonville”.  This is not good for the sore ribbed DeShone Kizer.

Jacksonville has real issues in the receiving corps with anyone with experience injured.  They are going to run out there with “a bunch of guys”.  I don’t think that will be a big issue as the Jags will likely combine a strong running game with dink/dunk passes to the RBs and TEs to methodically score 24-28 points in dull fashion.  With the spread, that means the Browns will have to somehow score three touchdowns to cover the spread.  No way.  The Browns are somehow worse than their 0-9 record indicates.  Just to be safe though, I’m going to buy down a point and take Jacksonville -6.5 at -155.

There are too many games with uncertainties out there this week.  The Patriots play the Raiders, normally a game of great interest.  However, the NFL put the game in Mexico City.  I’m not touching that.  How do I know if Tom Brady doesn’t go out to see Lucha Libre on Saturday night and get all fueled up on mescal?  Maybe he decides to buy a bunch of street tacos and spends Sunday shitting out everything he has eaten since 2007.  Too much left to chance.

The Bills are starting some shitty backup rookie QB thinking that will give them a jumpstart.  Has a team with a winning record inserting a guy into his first game midseason on the road ever worked out?  (see Manziel, John for reference)  At least the guy gets to play on the road in front of a disinterested Los Angeles crowd (or lack thereof).  Still, I’m not touching that game with a spread of six.  How about Miami and Tampa with no Jameis or Tannehill?  Nope.  You want Ossweiler and the Broncos at home giving two and a half?  OK, then take the other side with the Bengals getting the points on the road at Denver.  Yeah, that’s not so good either.  I have no clue as to who is starting in that Houston v Arizona game.  The Ravens and Packers game might not even be televised, but since everything else looks so awful I am going to wade in there.

Baltimore has always been a bad road team.  Well, not always…  Back when Ray Rice was knocking out the ladies and Ray Lewis was “allegedly” dumping blood soaked clothes in the trash they were really good.  That was a long time ago though.  They are 3-8-1 ATS in their last 12 on the road.  The Packers, who screwed me last week by beating the Bears, just might have found out how to cobble together an offense.  Not a great offense, but probably enough to win.  I feel slightly ill that I am betting on this game.  I am not even going to watch it.  This is certainly a cry for help.  I am a long way from self-actualization here.  Green Bay +2.5.  

    

Season Record:  10-12-1