If I had played my cards differently I would right now be
relaxing on a tropical island with my biggest concerns being where to make a
dinner reservation, hoping I don’t kill myself diving, and hoping a sand flea
doesn’t hop into my champagne. “Cocktails
at the Sand Bar Luv?” I operate well in
that scenario. Instead I was walking the
bassets in 17-degree weather on crunchy icy sidewalks trying to make heads or
tails of this weekend’s slate of NFL games.
It’s very important to provide distractions for the mind so as to not
look around your surroundings and go completely mad. I don’t hear the phrase “completely mad”
often these days. I would like to be
able to take off a pair of glasses, wipe them with a handkerchief and say
something like “Leo? Oh, he’s gone
completely mad.” before replacing the glasses and crossing my legs with a
dismissive expression. I suppose there’s
nothing stopping me from doing so. I’d
probably have to wear a three-piece suit and check my pocket watch to really
pull it off. I just bought a pair of
expensive boots, so taking on the added expense of a pocket watch might be a bit much
right now. Yet another crushed dream.
The reality is December is cold and bleak. Don’t let the festive plastic Santas lit up
all over town fool you. It’s the time of
year when many NFL teams have realized they are playing not to get hurt and put
down “good tape” for next year’s contract negotiations. It becomes very important to ferret out who
is playing for something and who is going through the motions. That’s why this Chargers at Kansas City game
is worth a look. We are talking about
two teams somehow fighting to win the AFC West at 7-6 though both look dicey at
best. A couple of key points in this
one. The game is on Saturday night where
a well-oiled bunch of Midwestern drunks are not worried about going to work on
Sunday as they wear ugly red Chiefs gear in the Kansas City night. That is not a scenario that portends to great
success to a team flying in from Southern California. I was walking around in San Francisco on
Monday in shirt sleeves while tourists from LA were outfitted in down jackets
with scarves. People from LA think
temperatures under 68 are polar exploration weather. It was 58 degrees in The Bay, not nice and
chilly like it will be in Kansas City on Saturday.
Now it’s true that most of the Chargers are likely tougher
than Kaitlyn and her yoga class from Orange County, but the Chargers don’t
travel especially well out of their time zone.
Certainly, not to Kansas City.
Kansas City is 4-2 against the spread at home this year and 9-2 against
the spread at home in prime time. They
are also 8-1 vs the AFC West in their last 9.
On top of that, they’re getting points.
Oh, I like the look of that. I
like that quite a bit. To give the
Chiefs points at home seems “completely mad”.
Kansas City +2
I am going to bet against the Browns. This should always be assumed unless I make a
point otherwise. It’s like swinging by a
hospice and betting on “death”. The only
two things certain in life are taxes and a Browns loss. This week they play the Ravens at Browns
Stadium. Normally the savvy gambler
would factor in home field advantage, however I think there will be more Ravens
fans than Browns fans at the game.
Tickets are currently $6 in the secondary market. It’s really a nice weekend for Baltimore
fans. Fly in Friday, eat at a Michael
Symon restaurant, Saturday go look at Jimmy Page’s dragon pants at the Rock
Hall, Sunday pop over to the stadium for a win and then home by 7p.
The Ravens are giving seven, which might be too many. The Ravens offense is terrible, despite
lighting up the Steelers last week in their heartbreaking loss. They are getting better at the end of the
season, like all good teams. The Browns,
like all bad teams, are firing people in the executive office. Anyone that is associated closely with the
old regime would be recommended to take some shit home in a box over the
holidays. With the Ravens at 7-6 and on
the Playoff bubble, I am expecting them to win.
Yet, I don’t want to give 7. Therefore,
I am tying in the LA Rams at Seattle as well as Ravens moneyline.
The Rams are for real.
No, I don’t know how they got so good so fast either, but they are the
real deal. They go to Seattle this
Sunday who is absolutely decimated on defense.
The Public is under the impression the Seahawks never lose at home. That’s why the Rams are getting the points. Seattle is 1-5-1 against the spread versus a
team with a winning road record. The
Rams are 4-1 ATS in their last 5 road games.
I am going to tease Baltimore
-1/Rams +8.5. I don’t know if the
Rams win, but I don’t see them losing by two scores. Hell, like the rest of you I will be watching
that Pittsburgh v New England game. Someone let me know when I win.
Season Record: 18-16-1
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