Nurse the Hate: NCAA Basketball Sunday

I continue to exhibit no understanding of college basketball.  I split a couple games yesterday after staying up much too late with Hillbilly Casino drinking wine, making pizzas, and discussing obscure musicians.  Four in the morning is no time to make wild guesses on basketball games.  My judgement was even more poor than normal as I went straight chalk with Kansas and Kentucky.  It was like being one of those suckers that walks into a Vegas sports book and bets on the Patriots because you heard they might be good.  I should have gone out for .99 cent shrimp cocktail yesterday afternoon to complete the package.  Maybe looked for Wayne Newton tickets.

There is no reason to stop this compulsive wagering now.  In for a penny, in for a pound.  I’m getting on Marshall +12.5 points against West Virginia.  I have no doubt that former Whiskey Daredevil Dave Bowling will have somehow secured a choice pair of tickets to this game and be resplendent in some combination of Herd gear and cowboy jewelry that will offer support to Marshall and maintain a beach-meets-Gram-Parsons vibe as they try to slay Goliath.  Maybe the game will be in safe hands but the spread will be very much in play as a Mountaineer guard steps up to the line.  There will be a great ruckus coming from behind the Marshall bench as a loud yell comes from across the gym in an unmistakable West Virginia accent.  Mr. Bowling, who will also undoubtedly be on Marshall up to his eyeballs, will register in this young man’s head.  As he steps to the foul line, his team up by 11 with 14 seconds left, he will not be thinking about hitting that shot.  Instead he will be thinking, “Who the hell is that guy in the Marshall hat and cowboy shirt and why is he going so crazy?  The game is decided.  Did he just say something about George Jones?”.  That’s when that shot clanks off the rim and we get a winner.  Marshall +12.5 

I am going to tease Michigan State and Butler.  I don’t know anything about the current situation of either team.  I am essentially betting on future events based on past successes of these two teams despite knowing that there is no correlation.  It’s a very bad idea.  The key here is these games both go off early. These are the kinds of things one does when one is floundering without purpose.  I need something to do today.  The mind must be kept distracted to avoid existential crisis.  This is why sports are on TV.  It’s the basis of the entire sports broadcast industry.  It’s not a life of quiet desperation if you’re screaming at some 19 year old kid from Indiana that just blew a lay up.  It’s what makes America great.  Again.  Butler +7.5/Michigan St -5.5