Nurse the Hate: NCAA Tournament Day 2

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 As expected, I came out of the gate 0-1-1.  This will happen when you wager on things that you have absolutely no tangible knowledge in, much like the rest of the planet and the stock market.  I cannot explain why I feel more confident putting my money on Cal State Fullerton than a “domestic mid cap mutual fund”.  Perhaps it’s due to the fact that I can provide the illusion of knowing what is going on with Cal State Fullerton by saying reassuring things like “they are a great road team as they went 9-4 against the spread out of their gym”.  That is much more believable than if I spout gibberish about “high leveraged tech companies with questionable earnings reports” even though it’s the same horseshit.

The bottom line is I want some action in the middle of a work day afternoon.  I plan on standing with my arms folded staring at a TV perched above my sanctioned work space hoping my miniature dream catcher that is taped to the file cabinet provides enough good vibes for some guy I have never seen before hit an otherwise late meaningless basket for Cal St Fullerton to not win the game but merely cover a 20 point spread.  This is the sad juncture I find myself in the Year of Our Lord 2018.

I wouldn’t call it an existential crisis.  Not yet.  However, you need to take a good hard look at things when your day hinges on if a kid hits a free throw in garbage time in an afternoon college basketball game across the country.  The only light at the end of the tunnel is that I get to play a rock show with my pals Hillbilly Casino later tonight.  It’s nice to step away from the idea that life doesn’t have to be a cubicle and a missed free throw and can instead be an hour of pointless songs written on a couch in Ohio that sort of rock.  Still, it’s a long path to trudge down until the band roars to life.

This is why I am going to swing for the fences on a couple of money line bets on 12 seeds against 5 seeds.  Betting on 12 seeds is one of the least “sharp” things you can possibly do during the tournament.  The receptionist at every business within a 50 mile radius picked 12 seed upsets because she heard something about that on The View.  It’s an NCAA Tournament cliché that just happens to be true. A #12 seed has won a first round game in 26 of the last 29 years.  Yesterday both of the 5s beat the 12s.  There is really no choice.  Opportunity is knocking.  I am going to white knuckle a couple money lines today with Murray State +450 and New Mexico State +170.        

Murray State are the “Racers” and New Mexico State are the “Aggies”.  Clearly at +450, the Racers are the team I’d like to see win.  I hope their mascot logo is Speed Racer with one hand on a steering wheel and the other flipping the bird.  I could get behind that.  I’m not sure what an Aggie is exactly.  Does it refer to “agriculture”?  If I am focused on growing crops, I am not going to New Mexico.  If I am going to start a business in New Mexico, it would be selling turquoise jewelry or maybe crystal meth.  I bet a hot yoga studio would fly too.  Putting seeds in the dust is no way to make your fortune kids.  I hope that when you aren’t watching the dust for a seedling to pop out that you are practicing 3-point jumpers. 

Go Aggies.