I can unflinchingly say that my 2019 NCAA Tournament gambling efforts thus far are somewhere between a "disaster" and a "fiasco". These are not places you want to wake up on a Saturday morning. Now I find myself chasing. I also have a bad case of the yips. I don't trust my judgement in anything right now much less gambling on college basketball. I found myself looking for answers in an unlikely place. Yes, I called Krusty.
Krusty is right now in New Jersey. With the recent legalization of sports gambling in Jersey, Krusty can simply click on his app and get action on anything. As a result, he has found himself betting on meaningless NBA games and college basketball all winter. While I have no idea of what is going on, Krusty has probably already been burned by a Tuesday night Under involving New Mexico State just because they popped up on ESPNU while he was bored. He actually has an opinion on these games. It should be noted, he doesn't know much more than I do, but I'm looking for even the semblance of expertise here.
The interesting thing about this New Jersey sports gambling thing is that now BW3 locations are essentially low rent sports books. Every Jersey gindaloon has action on the games, most with impossible cross ties and parlays. "Yo! Vinnie! I got Northeastern wheeled in with Iowa St OVER in the late game but need a three teamer to hit so I can get some action down on the Mets Cactus League game tomorrow." You know those obnoxious BW3 ads airing during all these tournament games? Imagine every one of those assholes that is tearing into those chicken wings has a $100 on Maryland. Now you've got something.
I got Krusty on the phone and he regaled me with tales of a few wins from yesterday. That's all I needed to hear. I would have bet on whatever he told me, and in fact, I did. As a result, I am in up to my eyeballs on Wofford +5 over Kentucky and Michigan -6 over Florida. I'm sure there are some legitimate reasons why he thinks these will come to pass, but I don't really care about that. I always enjoy betting against Kentucky basketball. First, it's really annoying how everyone in the state of Kentucky is completely geared up about the team. It is clearly one of the most crooked sports enterprises in America, joining Ohio State Football and all Oregon University sports as being pro teams masquerading as college students. I'll bet you that most of the Kentucky basketball player's parents made more money as "consultants" to various Kentucky alumni booster's businesses than I did hustling for The Man. It means so much to the good people of Kentucky that their team does well, it brings me joy to see their dreams crushed live on TV. I'm a shit like that.
The Michigan wager is just something for me to focus on in case the Wofford effort falls short. I tremble to think of what it will be like if I am 0-5 and looking to make one big move to get back to even on Michigan. I have no idea who is on either team, what their records are, or if they match up particularly well or poorly. I'm just in. I will make a monster bet on Wofford to kick off the afternoon in an attempt to recoup all my losses in one fell swoop. If that heads south, I will double up again on Michigan. If that fails, and I am somehow still alive after all the damage of the stress, I will have to take a real hard look at myself. And then chase again on Sunday.
Let's go Wofford.
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