Nurse the Hate: White Knuckle NFL Locks

I am of the belief that if you are going against the accepted grain in life, it is most likely that you are on to something.  Super hero movies, electronic dance music, enormous pickup trucks, Kardashians, video games, fad diets, TV singing contests, and the NBA can suck the life right out of you.  It's important to sift through the crap and find the little jewels that make it all worthwhile.  Phillip Roth novels, Nick Cave records, an impeccably aged Bordeaux, Link Wray's Ace sides, an espresso from Loop, broken in Spanish cowboy boots, and the Washington Redskins with a ton of points.

Look, I realize that Washington Redskins inclusion on the list is jarring.  This was my intention.  The Redskins as a stand alone entity might well be the worst run sports franchise in America.  This criticism comes from a Browns fan, so put that last statement into perspective.  Football fans in DC pay more for tickets than anyone to see a hopeless team flounder every Sunday and then disperse into choking traffic to go back to their overpriced homes complaining about whatever shitty free agent signing didn't live up to overblown expectations.  I feel for those people.  It's a meat grinder.  However, let's appreciate the Redskins for what they are this week.

The Redskins, maybe the worst regarded public team on the board, travels to Green Bay to face the highest regarded public team at (use deep baritone) The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field!  Every single dipshit I saw in Las Vegas last week is currently standing in front of the sports bet window throwing money at the Packers.  On the surface of it, it's obvious.  Outmatched rookie Dwayne Haskins takes a crappy Redskins team to Green Bay to face unbeatable (uppercase) Aaron Rodgers and his (small case) green bay packers.   Whatever B-team broadcast crew will spend that entire telecast salivating over Rodgers and talking up the overrated Pack.  This is the against the grain opportunity one looks for on a Sunday.

I see the Redskins running the ball.  I see them running the ball over and over and over.  I see the clock running and running and running.  Washington has won their last two games, admittedly over the awful Giants and slumping Panthers, but a win is a win.  How did they win?  Running the ball and playing defense.  I think the Redskins will avoid putting Haskins in a position where he has to make plays.  As long as they don't suffer catastrophic early turnovers and fall behind by 17 points or more, the Redskins can make all of our dreams come true; lose convincingly but by less than 14.  Yes, this makes me nervous but that must mean it's a good bet.  Washington +13

I spent Sunday white knuckling it on icy roads on the Poconos.  My only company was The Pittsburgh Steeler Radio Network on satellite radio.  This was little solace.  For three hours the broadcast team struggled gamely to come up with a nickname for soon-to-be-trivia question Devlin "Duck" Hodges.  At various times they called him "Duckbill", "Duckman", "Ducky", "The Duck" and "Duck-O".  I am not sure about why they had so much excitement as the Steeler offense stinks no matter what scrub they have in at QB.  Smith-Schuster is out.  Connor is out.  That Devontae dude was bleeding out of his ears a couple weeks ago.  We're not talking firepower here.

What the Steelers do have is defense.  Even better news is that they are playing Arizona.  The Steelers have demonstrated what a great organization they are in staying in the Playoff hunt despite all the devastating injuries.  They need this game.  The Steeler defense knows it is all on them.  I like their odds.  A team that can bring pressure up the middle can stop a mobile QB oriented offense like the Cards.  I have no interest in watching this game, but if I check the score, I hope it's Pittsburgh/Arizona UNDER 43.5.

I won betting against the Browns last week, and I am going to do it again this week.  These shitbags are the biggest disappointment in the NFL that aren't wearing stars on their lids.  (I'm looking at you Cowboys.  Thanks for the under!).  The one thing we can all agree on is that if you need a team to underperform, the Browns are a great place to look.  Sure, they're playing the Bengals, but we aren't betting ON the Bengals...  We are betting AGAINST the Browns.

Last week range season ended for the Browns when they lost to the Steelers.  They know it.  We know it.  Everyone knows it.  Tickets to the Browns game, once red hot, can be had for $20.  The season is over.  I have a hard time picturing this crew off guys getting motivated to play well this week.  OBJ is already floating out the "I don't know if I'm coming back" talk.  Speculation is swirling around the coaching staff.  Another defensive back was left off the roster for "disciplinary reasons".  Baker Mayfield is playing with a bum hand.  Does this sound like a team ready to take care of business?  The worst thing is with the Browns, anything can happen.  Usually most of it is bad.  Cincinnati +7.5

Season Record:  23-12-2