I fell down a rabbit hole of Chilean wine. There are a half dozen Chilean wines I'm going to open today, taste through, and then invite over some trustworthy degenerates to finish off as I scream at the ill-advised wagers I made with My Guys In The Desert. It's coming together this Sunday. I am convinced that if I even walk outside I will get covid, thus relegated to spending Xmas alone watching Christmas Story while sniffling and drinking port. My plan on Xmas is to be surrounded by Browns fans watching their dreams get crushed while I cash in on a huge bet on Green Bay. Tis the season. But right now it is all about dodging the virus yet again, if just for another week so I can attend a nice local Super Spreader Event.
By the way, after this deep dive into Chile, I would recommend traveling there. It seems absolutely gorgeous with plenty of rocky Pacific Coast shorelines, dramatic mountain landscapes, and significantly less political death squads, which can really mess up a vacation. Let me tell you, no one wants their vacation ended by standing with a hood over your head yelling "Excuse me, but I'm an American! I demand you take me back to the Hilton!" right before you get shot in the head on a dusty backroad. They moved out of that now, so maybe put Santiago in your travel plans.
Chile a long thin country that goes down the west coast of South America, so people think of it as North/South. It should actually be thought of as coastal/valley/mountain X north/south. It's more like six major zones with tiny microclimates all over the place. They've never had the agricultural diseases and pest issues the rest of the planet has had due to their relative isolation. There is no reason why great wines shouldn't come from there besides the reliable $9.99 grocery store wines. I'm looking forward to seeing what they're doing with pinot noir and syrah in the more cool climate areas. Yet, that's not all that is on my mind...
There are two ways to look at this Jacksonville v Texans game. 1. It's a horrible game between two awful teams, each of which is more motivated than the other to lose and insure a better draft pick. In theory, the better organization would not visibly tank the game, but rather devise an ineffective game plan that would present the illusion that it just wasn't their day today and the opponent just played to an emotional victory. Let's say that the Jags can't cover tight ends. The Texans then refuse to throw at their tight end, and instead only call off tackle runs towards a few of the only decent Jags defenders. They lose 17-6, move up in the draft order, and pretend they lost a close contest. Hell, that's what I would do.
There's also option 2. The Jags have just fired their coach, one of the most toxic human beings on the planet. The team breathes a sigh of relief, realizes the season is truly over, and the players are only concerned about putting good tape together for a roster spot next year somewhere else. It becomes 11 guys on the field with 11 different agendas being coached by a staff that has already started to pack as they know they will be swept clean next year by the new regime. It's a team with no leadership, lots of drama, and no plan. It's a fucking mess. Oh... and they are giving the Texans 5.5 points.
Trevor Lawrence has thrown one TD since Halloween. He's not real good. The most points the Jags have scored this season is 23. And they're giving points? Unless some sort of offensive guru coach has been suppressed by Urban Myer, a head coach that appeared to have little interest in the actual game plans, they should fail to move the ball again today. The Texans are really, really bad but so are the Jags. I'll take the points. Houston +5.5
I'm going to take another awful team today, the Detroit Lions. It's interesting that though I live about two hours away from Detroit, I don't think I have ever seen someone in NE Ohio wearing Lions gear. I have spent a decent amount of time in Detroit recording. Once again, I can't recall seeing anyone walking around with a Lions hat on. I have seen plenty of Tigers, Red Wings, and even Pistons gear. No Lions. Even the people of Detroit forget about the Lions. I'm counting on the Cardinals forgetting about them too.
The Cardinals just lost a close, hard fought game versus the division rival Rams last week. Next week they are looking at the Colts. Now they have to travel on a short week after a Monday night game to the east coast time zone, and pick up a quick win over the Lions. If there was ever a flat spot on a schedule, this it it. The Lions suck, but they play hard. They're 8-5 ATS, covering 4 of their last 5. They are 3-0 at home as an underdog of 10+ points. God help me, but I'm on Detroit +12.5.
I continue to hear shadowy whispers about "something" going on with Lamar Jackson. Normally, if a marquee player has an issue, the media is killing themselves to be the first to report it. Whatever the issue is must be so explosive that no one wants to be out front on it. Regardless, Lamar has sucked since the first month of the season. Now he's going to play the Packers while hobbled with a sprained ankle. If Lamar has limited mobility, what exactly is he bringing to the table? Aaron Rodgers can throw for three touchdowns on an amputated leg. The Ravens have been unreal in their ability to overcome injuries this season, but this game seems like too much to ask. They have no healthy d-backs while facing the probable NFL MVP. Green Bay -7.
Season record: 23-27
Even with the loss, this could be the best analysis of the impossible to discern 2021 NFL season.
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