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Sunday, January 8, 2023

Nurse the Hate: My Basset Hound Ryver and NFL Final Week



My basset hound Ryver died on Tuesday.  She was, in many way, the heartbeat of the household.  Ryver was a dog that was fully in favor of the pandemic and ensuing lockdown as it allowed her to spend all of her time supervising my affairs.  Where I went, Ryver went.  She was my constant companion.  I know everyone has dogs, and of course, are very attached to their dogs.  I certainly had a relationship with Ryver that veered into "Crazy Dog Lady" territory.  Instead of that annoying baby talk, I would talk to her like the deadbeat roommate she was.  The basset eavesdropped on all my conversations anyway.  Her day was spent gleaning if something beneficial to her was in the air and hatching schemes to get what she wanted.  It's hard to explain if you don't know the breed.  The basset hound is a quirky animal that is more like an odd relative that moves in as opposed to a dog.  Ryver was also very intelligent, so she moved that needle even further away from "dog" into "opinionated freeloader".  It's a tough loss.  Logically, I knew she was coming towards the end, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.  

Ryver was a tough dog.  Her list of ailments included, and were not limited to, congestive heart failure, horribly arthritic back and hip, thyroid deficiency, a wildly uncontrollable ear infection, a continual set of burst, infected and then healing sebaceous cysts, an abdominal tumor the size of a grapefruit, brutal allergies, and dry eye.  Her medicines were kept in a zip up bag I referred to as "the nuclear football", as it was inadvisable to go anywhere without the vast array of medications needed to keep the dog on the rails.  Towards the end, she took nine (9) pills daily and four (4) sets of drops.  If I told you how much money was spent on vets and medicines, your jaw would drop open in amazement.  It is cheaper to keep an antique European sports car on the road.  The amount of time it took to care for this basset was roughly four hours a day just for basic care.  Yet, despite all of this, she gave me much more than I provided her.

I came home one day after work a few years ago, and she didn't trot over to greet me with her normal deep urgent barks.  Instead she sat across the room barking at me insistently.  It was odd behavior.  When I went over to her urging her to come outside, she just barked.  I soon discovered that she couldn't move her back left leg, or feel anything on her back leg.  I rushed her to a vet hospital an hour away after my local vet stared at me with a "I don't know what the hell to do here" look.  After a series of scans, the specialist said "Look at this X-ray.  She has so much arthritis and various potential problem points, I have no idea which is causing this.  I would do more harm than good with any procedure."  The sage medical advice was this; take her home and see if she gets better.  That was it, after thousands of dollars of scans and tests.  

I walked her for weeks with a harness to support her body weight so she could go outside and do her business.  Then one day, she unsteadily walked down the driveway.  The next day she made it a few houses down the block.  She was walking like a drunken sailor, but she was walking.  Soon she was doing her beloved walks in the woods, always with a defiant attitude that gave no indication she knew or cared about how flimsy and weak she might have been.  That dog would fight through any adversity and never let you know she was in discomfort.  She was ridiculous and proud at the same time.  To not hear the thump of her tail on the carpet when I called her name, or the clicking of her nails on the kitchen floor makes the house seem quiet and empty.  The force of that dog's personality was palpable.  I miss her so much, and feel the burden of somehow failing her.  Her brother Montgomery is lost without her.  I'm worried his health will spiral down now as he sinks further into his depression.  It's been a bad start to the year.  

I have been trying to keep my mind busy with breaking down these football games in the NFL's final week.  I think there are some, shall we say "opportunities".  Let's take this Giants v Philadelphia game.  The Giants are getting 16.5 points against the Eagles.  The expectation is the Giants don't need the game and will empty their bench while Philadelphia will wax the Giants to keep the #1 seed.  Allow me to remind you of a game a few years ago when the Giants would have gone to the playoffs if the Eagles had beaten the Redskins on MNF.  The Eagles, clearly the better team, not only rested their players but started their third string quarterback in an appalling tank of a loss.  The Giants players took to Twitter calling out the Eagles for this weak ass effort.  The Giants organization took the position that tanking a game like that wasn't reflective of how they approached the game. In fact, Coughlin years earlier took the undefeated Patriots to the wire in the final week in an otherwise meaningless game that served to show his team they could play with that Patriots team they later defeated in the Super Bowl.  I'm going to roll the dice that the Giants play hard and see if they can knock the Eagles to the 5 seed with a loss.  Even if they don't. 16.5 is an insane spread here.  Giants +16.5

It's the end of the season and the Browns find themselves in a position that is very familiar.  The team is in disarray.  Players are calling out coaches.  The team record is well below expectations.  There is no indication that a solution is on the horizon, and the team needs to meekly play out one more game before leaving the area with their tails between their legs.  Meanwhile, the Steelers, with smoke and mirrors, are 8-8 with a win putting them in the playoffs.  On paper, there is no way the Browns should lose to the Steelers.  However, this will be a low scoring game likely dictated by which team has more heart.  As the Browns aptly demonstrated against the Saints a couple weeks ago, if it's a question of the toughest dog in the fight, it ain't them.  Pittsburgh -2.5

All the Texans need to do to secure the #1 pick in the draft is to lose today.  The problem is that the Colts will also probably try to lose to improve their draft position.  It is odd to see two de-motivated teams having to play each other, each hoping the other team does something to make it look more believable that they didn't overtly throw the game.  I think the wild card in this is Jeff Saturday, the coach of the Colts.  Saturday wants to be the coach next year.  He might be the only person on the field that wants to win this game.  The question then becomes "Is he competent enough to pull off a win?".  I am going to take the Colts who will want to win at home versus a Texans team that showed last week they have packed it in.  Indianapolis -3

Both Seattle and Green Bay need to win to get in to the Playoffs.  The narrative on these games is always "they need it, so they will go out and make it happen".  Let's take a look at it though.  These teams both stink.  I am going to tease the Rams/Lions and maybe do a moneyline bet on both as well.  No one ever remembers when teams "need the win" and lose.  62% of the time, teams fail to cover in that spot.  It's hard to see either team blowing out anyone, much less in this spot.  Rams +11.5/Lions +10.5 teaser.

Season record:  31-19-1

    

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