I have some concerns about my good fortune today as I started it with about as strong a sign as The Gods can give that things might not go your way. I walked into a Starbucks mere steps behind a gaggle of 16 year old girls. What I had anticipated as a four minute detour for an espresso became about a third of my morning as the girls made and then waited for their orders before mine. My order is two words, "double espresso" which I could clip down to one, "doppio", if I totally gave into the fake Italian coffee house culture Starbucks so efficiently portrays. If I walk into a storefront and do that order, it's like an F1 pitstop. I am out of there so fast my visit is more of a rumor than an actual event. Let's contrast that with the almond milk caramel brulee latte double caramel extra foam. You might as well order a roast duck it's going to take so fucking long to prepare. But I get it...
Starbucks cracked the code and became a monster for one simple reason. They made it acceptable to get dessert in the morning. The young girls in their flannel pajama pants aren't there for coffee. They are there to knock back a Dairy Queen item at 8:45 in the morning and not get looked at crosseyed because they are slurping down 1200 calories of whipped cream and caramel. As a cranky man of advancing years, I almost wanted to pass along the wisdom "it's a slippery slope ladies". One day you are a cute little girl with your posse having a harmless little indulgence, and the next you are waiting 35 minutes in the drive through line for your hit because you can't bear the thought of the struggle it is walking out of your car. It's easier to get hooked on an Iced Gingerbread Oatmeal Chi than it is fentanyl. Look it up.
As a result, I huffed and puffed as I looked for a place to stand to wait for my own hit. I stooped over and doom scrolled looking at various websites looking for answers with the NFL. I have had a couple really bad losses in the last weeks, missed extra points late being especially hard hitting. I am now sort of at that point where I am convinced that God Is Out To Get ME. I have been through bad patches with NFL gambling before, but this is right up there. It's no place to be going into Thanksgiving with the now traditional GALAXY OF WAGERS on tap. I'm doing my best over here, but let's be honest. I don't know ANYTHING right now. I gotta turn this thing around.
The Raiders have been smoking cigars and rolling around in confetti after getting two wins and cutting Josh McDaniels loose. McDaniels did what he has always done, and quickly install his "Culture Of Losing". There are two things to count on after hiring McDaniels on as the head coach. 1. The players will all hate him. 2. The team will start losing. McDaniels accomplished all his goals in Vegas, so it was time to part ways. Then the storybook Raiders went out and won two straight. It looks like all is well in Vegas until you remember that they beat the Giants and Jets. Now they play Miami in Miami after a bye. Miami needs to right the course after that loss to Kansas City in Germany. Miami should kick the fuck out of the Raiders. This is not a contrarian viewpoint as they are favored by two touchdowns. Miami -13.5.
There are quite a few games like that Miami game on the slate today. Dallas is on the road at Carolina -10.5. San Francisco is -12 at home versus Tampa. It would be stunning if any of those three underdogs came out with a win on Sunday. If you tie all three favorites into a 3 team parlay it's Miami/Dallas/SF money line -200. I've been so snake bit lately I will yield to the multiple favorite parlay, the true wager of a man that has lost his nerve.
I am going under 40 on the Buffalo/Jets game. Zack Wilson has led the Jets to a TD once in the last 55 drives. The only way the Jets score a bunch of points is with a couple costly Josh Allen INTs, something he's done quite a bit this season. However, Allen's turnovers have been such a monster topic of conversation that it is inconceiveable that he puts the ball at risk, right? Right? Right? All Buffalo needs to do to win this game is play conservative offense and let the Jets be the Jets. Buffalo needs a win right here, and not one with style points. Robert Saleh won't have any answers as he stares straight ahead emotionless like he's drifted out of his body. Let's just hope Wilson doesn't goose the total up with catastrophic turnovers of his own.
Season Record: 13-17-1
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