Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hate the Super Bowl

It's not easy avoiding all the mindless hype surrounding the Super Bowl. Each morning I cringe as I open the sports page to see more half hearted banter about this week's game . Just when I think I have successfully dodged yet another Peyton Manning Can't Win The Big Game story, another one can slam you in the temple from out of nowhere. I think Grit (or was it Oui?) sent Frank DeFord in for 500 words on how big this is for Manning's legacy.

Chicago's defense feels disrespected...Colt offensive linemen have unified around an Indianapolis teen's struggle against scurvy...The Bears kick returner had his scrotum bitten off by a sand shark. There's a lot of information out there. How do you sort through it all and make it through the wilderness of lies to lay down a winner come Sunday? Turn it all off.

The AFC beat the crap out of the NFC all year because the NFC blows. The Bears got to beat up on piss ant 6-10 teams all year long like the Vikings, Bucs, and Packers. If this was college football, they would have had to play Boise State on December 18th instead of playing for the prize in the BCS Tostitos Snackathon Bowl. Just because the Bears are the best of these low rent goons doesn't mean crap come Sunday. Early this year the Bears had a great defense that hid the fact that they have the worst starting QB in a Super Bowl since Mark Rypien. When you hold The Pack and Vikings to seven, your jayvee QB can play loose and wing it around out there. Couple picks here and there? Who cares! Have an Old Style and shake your ass to the Super Bowl Shuffle baby! Then Mike Brown went down, and they were suddenly very ordinary. Games got close, and the city of Chicago noticed they still didn't have a QB. (Side note: Since Jim McMahon's two healthy years in the 1980s, have the Bears had a legitimate NFL signal caller? Do Bear fans grill brats in the parking lots in Old School Jim Harbaugh jerseys? Bobby Douglas jerseys?)

I'm loving the line at 6.5 on the Colts and let me tell you why. The Bears give up yardage all day long and the Colts know how to get in the end zone. Manning and Company have been watching film for 2 weeks looking at the Bears secondary and blitz schemes. A really bad Seahawks team moved up and down the field on them. The Saints needed 4 turnovers to lose to them. You think Chicago has an answer for Harrison, Wayne, and Dallas Clark? I don't. The key to the game will be if Indy starts fast. I think if Indy can score in their first couple drives and put the Bears behind, the rout is on. If the Bears are rolling into the second quarter down 14-3 or 10-0, it's going to be pretty tough to run Jones and Benson off tackle and hope you don't put Grossman into Third and long situations. Grossman has looked bad through the playoffs, but he hasn't turned it over yet. However, this game plays right into ego, and he is going to try to make a play and force throws. He's been lucky not to turn the ball over the last couple games, but his luck runs out here. Take Indy all the way. I'm going to lay the points, and bet massively on tails on the coin flip too. That will help keep me on edge during the three hours of player introductions and pomp.

Random Notes: If I were you, I'd go buy Tom Waits "Orphans" immediately. There aren't many artists that can release a 3 disc collection of outtakes and have it compete with any of their current releases. It's a remarkable explosion of ideas. You'll go back to it again and again. Really. Go get it.

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