Nurse the Hate: The Afternoon Fellini Film

It hurt her feelings when she was not invited to the party.  She would not have gone, but still it hurt not to be asked at all.  She had received a dozen previous invitations, all of which she had refused.   She generally pretended some sort of dismissive moral superiority as to why she did not attend these functions, but in reality it was that they always made her uncomfortable.  She never knew quite what to say and hated the gossipy chatter of the group.  Still, she had always counted on being invited as being part of the more popular clique.  This was a blow to her ego. 

She sat in the coffee house and discussed it with Derrick.  Derrick had been her boyfriend but had morphed into the role of best friend.  When she realized her relationship with Derrick was not based on attraction but on companionship, she was able to skillfully slide Derrick into best friend status.  Derrick, always compliant, accepted his changing role without incident.  "If you think that's best."  She hated this lack of passion in him when he was her boyfriend, but she adored it as a best friend.  He was steady and loyal.  

Derrick always appeared to be thinking of something else when you were speaking to him.  It was as if you were constantly interrupting him in another thought he was having.  "Can you believe they didn't even invite me to the party?"  What's that?  Oh yes. Well, perhaps because you have never accepted their invitations before, they thought they should stop asking you?"  Derrick frowned slightly while briefly looking at his coffee, and then stared back at her.  His low motor could be infuriating at times.  "Whether I would have accepted or not, it doesn't mean they STILL should not of invited me!"  She was irritated that Derrick didn't immediately tell her she was right.  She was always right.  He knew what she was looking for in him.  Derrick took a sip of his coffee and squinted as if to demonstrate he was thinking hard about the matter.  Yes, you're probably right.    

Derrick was an expert in pre-war French literature, art house films, chamber music, distillation techniques of absinthe and could make what was reported to be an excellent beef brisket . He had not exhibited a demonstrable feeling in well over five years.  She had been with him a couple years prior when he found out his grandmother had passed away.  It was morning.  His mobile buzzed on the night table.  "Yes?  Yes.  OK.  Thank you for telling me.  Yes.  Goodbye."  He placed the phone back on the table.  She rolled over in bed towards him.  Who was that?  "My cousin.  He called to tell me my grandmother died."  I'm so sorry.  "Oh, Thank you.  She had been ill."  They lay silently for moments.  She stroked his arm in a comforting fashion waiting for him to continue.  He seemed not to notice until slowly moving her onto her stomach.  He hoisted her hips back to him and nudged himself into her.  She saw him in the mirror as he fucked her from behind while staring at the wall with a blank expression.  He came with a little exhale, paused momentarily and then hopped off the bed.  "Well, I suppose I should go to my parents.  I'm going to hop in the shower.  Can you start the coffee?"

It was then she had made the decision to end their romance.  When he emerged from the shower 15 minutes later in his fussy button down shirt to sip his coffee standing by the sink, she weighed if she still needed him in her life in some fashion.  She had invested so much time into their relationship.  Derrick set his coffee cup in the sink and announced "I will stop at my parents house now, and then meet you at the cinema at two."  He was so pragmatic.  Thoughtful too.  He knew she would feel awkward in the emotions of his family and had spared her making that trip.  That was it.  This was when she decided she could maintain a friendship with him.  She smiled slightly at the thought of the new arrangement.  Yes, that would be perfect.  She enjoyed having someone dependable who would go with her to try new restaurants and agree with her opinions.

Derrick squinted again and looked out the window.  People trudged by doing their weekend tasks.  "Do you want to go to the Fellini screening at the university tonight?  It's an original print as I understand it."  She hated Fellini and was still upset about the lack of invitation to the party last night.  She was annoyed at herself for caring about those people at all.  Derrick stared at her blankly waiting for her response.  He gave no indication if he cared if she accepted his invitation or not.  She decided she would remove all of those that had slighted her with this party incident from her world.  She would not be put in that uncomfortable position again.  She would also go to the movies with Derrick.  The crisis was passing.  She was back in control.  "Yes, I will go but you know I hate Fellini."  Derrick gave a slight nod as he furrowed his brow looking out the window.