Nurse the Hate: Hate The Browns

January 11, 2013

Joe Banner

Cleveland Browns

76 Lou Groza Blvd.

Berea OH  44017

 

Dear Joe,

 

  As you can imagine, I was disappointed and rather surprised to see the organization move ahead with a head coaching hire prior to meeting with me.  Although my resume is rather thin in regards to head coaching experience, if you had taken the trouble to meet with me in person, you would have learned that I have led multiple fantasy football teams to championships.  Yes, I realize that changing the occasional player from a roster largely drafted automatically from Yahoo does not necessarily match up with real life experience, but it certainly does show that I am a proven winner.  Ultimately, isn’t that what needs to be brought into the organization?  A winning culture? 

  This turn of events does place me in a precarious situation at work Mr. Banner.  While you made the head coaching hire behind my back, you have left me twisting out in the wind after I have spent the last week bragging to co-workers about my impending interview.   I admit I now regret saying things like “…while you losers are sitting here in your cubicles and I am leading the Browns to victory…” and “I probably won’t ever come in contact with little people like you again after next week”.  This was a tactical error on my part.  It was my mistake.  Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched and so forth… 

  The NFL is a dog eat dog world, there is no doubt.  Now the worm has turned on you my friend.  Unlike your organization, I believe in being upfront in my business dealings.  This is why I am going to let you know in writing, that I have officially “thrown my hat into the ring” for the San Diego Chargers coaching position.  Yes, it appears that you and I have now become adversaries.  I plan on competing hard.  I plan on competing fairly.  But make no mistake, I will be competing.  I plan on leading my new team and crushing the dreams of both you and everyone that works at your second rate football team.  This may put a strain on future dealings between you and I.  However, I hope at the end of the day, you and I will be able to maintain a cordial business relationship.

 

  Go Bolts,

 

  Greg Miller   

 

 

 

  P.S.  I'm still planning on that Aladdin's lunch next week.  Let's see if our schedules match up.