Nurse the Hate: Hate Guns Again

I am convinced that no scenario exists in which this nation will move ahead on even the slightest regulation on guns.  It cannot be done.  What else has to happen?  The largest massacre in the history of Oregon will be forgotten by Monday.  A five month old got shot in a drive by shooting here in Cleveland yesterday.  How much worse can you get?  Gun regulation opponents will not move an inch from their position of “If we even admit there is a problem, we have lost”.  What would it take?  Teams of armed goons spraying Disneyland with machine gun fire?  Roving gangs of firing squads?  It’s insane.  At this point when a 24 year old sexually repressed white kid shoots up a bunch of innocent people, I hardly even notice.  That’s a problem.

The logic of the gun lobby is so completely flawed it is laughable.  Let’s go point by point…  

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.  Yes, people with guns.  I can’t recall the last time a 5 month old baby got killed in a “drive by knifing”.    

It’s not a gun issue, it’s a mental health issue.  We can’t prevent mental health problems, but we can prevent mentally ill people from getting guns, hence eliminating the problem of mentally ill people shooting 40 people at a school.

Most gun owners are responsible, so they shouldn’t be punished because some kooks go crazy with guns.  I can comfortably drive 130 mph in my car, but I’m not allowed to drive 130 mph in my car because your dipshit sister-in-law can’t control her vehicle at 55 mph much less 130.  Being in a society means we have to cater to the lowest common denominator.  Yeah, it sucks that I can’t go 130 mph because your fucking sister-in-law can’t drive, but that’s the way it is.  My pal Leo can take a bunch of LSD and have a great time, but Sally from the college jumped off the roof of her dorm so now none of us are allowed to do LSD.  It’s the way society works.  We have to cater to the people that don’t have their shit together.

But the Constitution says…  The Constitution is a document written in the 1700s when the Founding Fathers weren’t too concerned about a disgruntled white kid showing up at a movie theater with an Uzi.  However, they were wise enough to realize that society would change and to allow for that they created the idea of the “amendment”.  We got rid of socially destructive situations like slavery and women not being able to vote.  I think we can come up with a workable gun policy.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.  The idea of arming everyone to prevent gun violence is so stupid it defies all logic.  I am not really interested in living in a society where any disagreement can rapidly devolve into a gunfight because everyone is “packing”.  Let’s try arming every drunk asshole at an NFL Stadium this Sunday and see how this model works out.  I will be home in my safe room.  Tell me how it goes.

I need a gun to protect my family.  Let’s be honest.  If you were focused on protecting your family, you would probably buy really tricked out doors and badass window locks.  You’d dig a moat.  Buy some alligators to toss in it.  That’s not really as fun as a bunch of guns, is it?  This idea of being some domestic Jason Bourne is ludicrous.  Every responsible gun owner claims their guns are in a safe.  How does one get their guns from a safe during one of these feared home invasions that are right around the corner?   “Hold everything you sons of bitches!  I’m running downstairs to the basement gun safe and I will be right back!  Don’t you move!”

If the guns are regulated, the only ones that can get guns are criminals.  If we are trying to prevent mass shootings caused by mentally ill white dudes in their 20s, wouldn’t it logically cut down the chance of these incidents happening if the mentally ill white dude (that is always a loner) has to navigate the criminal underground to buy himself a gun?  Also, if only criminals and police have guns, wouldn’t we then be leaving the gunplay to the pros?  I’m good with that.  How about I sing stupid songs on stage and criminals and cops shoot at each other?  The deal would be that cops and meth dealers can’t sing “Gloria” at any jam night or karaoke bar.  That’s a “win” for society.

Armed civilians are the only way to keep the government from totalitarianism.  While folks like to play militia much like other folks like to do Civil War recreations, these are both fantasies.  A backwoods militia is as real as a Renaissance Faire.  (note olde timey spelling)  Let’s say the government goes crazy and the president declares himself “dictator for life”.  The same armed forces that blew up the Iraqi army in about 23 minutes would then have to tangle with “Jim and Ray from outside Terre Haute”?  I’m putting on my money on the $431 trillion dollar government war machine instead of the 17 guys with assault rifles.

None of what I think matters though.  Common sense has no application in this situation.  In a few days this will blow over.  The NRA and other lobby groups will do their thing.  Congress will gridlock.  The clock will start ticking until the next crazy tragic situation.  Years from now people will look back at this and marvel at the stupidity of our society.   We clearly need to do something.  Anything.  What we are doing now is not working.  That cannot be debated.   

Perhaps we as a society just need to see if we can solve one small problem.  Maybe we need to first all pull together in something we can all agree on.  Maybe we need to see of we can tackle one tangible issue and have some success.  Perhaps some momentum could be gained if we righted at least one wrong.  All of us unified in a common goal we all know is important.  Tell me this... 

What is the status of the One Direction wallet?