Nurse the Hate: The Doctor Star Pony Incident

I was reminded of an incident which happened a couple of years ago at Leo’s old rental house.  While things in his household are usually “nontraditional”, things had careened to an out of control place when he took in an old neighbor.  Leo’s old neighbor was a woman that found herself out of options when her current roommate took to sleeping with a pistol by his bed, which as days marched on actually seemed like a reasonable course of action in sharing a household with her.  However, at this time we didn’t know this.  She just seemed very off.  Oh, why sugar coat it…  She was at best “mentally imbalanced” and at worst suffered from a wide array of mental health and dependency issues that had left her committed to institutions.  

The decision to move a mentally ill woman with a prescription drug issue into your house is a terrible one.  Looking back it would have been a better decision if Leo had decided to move a Lowland Gorilla into his home.  It would have been much less of a fuss.  Leo’s intentions were all good.  I believe that Leo thought he was acting in a Christian fashion, his thought being to help get this woman back on her feet and bank some good kharma.  Unfortunately he did not factor in the challenges of living with a shut in that lurched between angry confrontations with him and manic unpredictable behavior.  

The real down side for the band was this is where we practiced.  On a weekly basis one could never be sure what was waiting upon arrival.  Sometimes it was pleasant chit chat.  Sometimes full on bad craziness was in full swing.  The incident in question involved was when I walked in to the house to see this woman screaming at Leo.  Leo stood in the dining room with his arms extended in the “what?  I mean no harm” pose.  Sugar stood between Leo and the woman with an uncomprehending expression, as if she couldn’t quite get her arms around the nature of the argument.  It had something to do with Leo revealing in conversation the name of one of her friends.

Leo’s roommate:  “You are so fucking high!  You don’t even know what you are doing!  Don’t say his name!  He is the biggest drug dealer in Akron and he is my friend!”  

Leo:  “Who?  Doctor Star Pony?”

Leo’s roommate:  “DON’T SAY HIS NAME!!!!!”

Leo:  “Doctor Star Pony?”

Leo’s roommate:  “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  YOU ARE SO FUCKING HIGH!!!  YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!”

Leo:  “With Doctor Star Pony?”

Leo’s roommate:  “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  DON’T SAY HIS NAME!!!!!”

Sugar:  “Leo!  For God’s sake!  Stop saying that!”

Leo:  “Doctor Star Pony?”

Leo’s roommate and Sugar:  “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

It is important to note a few facts.  Leo was under the impression that “Doctor Star Pony” was the name of her friend, the alleged “biggest drug dealer in Akron”.  In fact, his name was something like Dennis Scallopini, and he was a harmless working class guy that sometimes slipped Leo’s roommate extra painkillers he received from a workman’s comp injury.  Leo had somehow misheard “Dennis Scallopini” as “Doctor Star Pony”.  While you and I would immediately think “Doctor Star Pony?  I must not have heard correctly.  No one could possibly be named Doctor Star Pony.”, Leo just rolled with it.  I can’t imagine what Dennis thought when he heard Leo introduce him to others as “Doctor Star Pony”, but things in that house moved in a direction of their own accord, and he probably had picked up on that (being a doctor and all).

Now, imagine walking into a house with this going on.  It’s not easy to get your head wrapped around.  On the one side of the room is a woman that is convinced that her friend is some sort of El Chapo figure and to even speak his name out loud courted imminent danger.  On the other side of the room is a guy that is positive that a man named “Doctor Star Pony” comes over to visit his mentally ill roommate and is unaware that he cannot say his name under any circumstance.  It took some time to get sorted out.  Finally we went down to the basement to practice and she went back to putting up Christmas decorations in the September evening.

That’s what Whiskey Daredevils practice was like in 2014.