Monday, July 23, 2012

Nurse the Hate: Hate Gun Control?

Only in Summer can you get the bad craziness of the last week.  When the weather is hot, people seem to take leave of their senses.  While you are sitting in an air conditioned refuge somewhere just trying to keep one foot in front of the other, somewhere someone is all fueled up on copious amounts of light beer and bath salts, frothing at the mouth due to the heat.  You show me a good heat wave, and I will show you senseless violence. 

 There are three ways to deal with The End of Days.  Some people turn to religion, the time proven opiate of the masses.  A nice air conditioned church may have some upside on a sunny humid Sunday, I’ll give ya that.  Who doesn’t like a dude in a beard strumming an acoustic playing a hymn?  Still, what are you going to do Mon-Sat?  I have been focused on the second time proven template.  I have been on a game plan of “making it all go away” with gallons of Stone Pale Ale and Founder’s All Day IPA, floating around in my kayak, and avoiding eye contact with anyone even slightly off-kilter.  While this is actually a way of hiding in plain sight, you can probably let a few weeks slip past and look up to discover its Autumn.  So how else do you get through Summer?  The third way is one proving more popular of late, stocking up on weapons and letting it all hang out.  Really going for it, you know?   

 Let’s take that movie theater shooting from last week…  I think we can all agree that perhaps it may be time to have a real discussion about gun control.  Many gun nuts will suggest this is just reactionary, and they may have a point.  If a violent crime is not committed in Florida, it has probably been done in Colorado.  I think the sheer concentration of white people listening to jam bands, eating organic food, mountain biking and bitching about the Denver Broncos is too much.  People standing in line waiting for a flax seed muffin while having Blues Traveler piped in over the coffee shop PA just snap.  It’s too much.

 Since I think we can agree any of us might snap living in that kind of terrible crunchy lifestyle, the only thing we can do is limit the ability of creepy loners to get automatic weapons.  I think you should be allowed to have a deer rifle if you actually go hunting, or maybe a shotgun if you live on a farm.  That’s reasonable, right?  You probably don’t need an assault rifle and 6000 rounds of ammo if you live in a shitty apartment in suburban Denver.  Uh-oh…  Here comes the Gun Lobby!  “If you try to take away one kind of gun that will only lead to the government taking away all guns from everyone and completely violating the Constitution!” 

 This is the same stupid argument the NRA has been waging since kooks started shooting up civilians.  It’s so moronic; it is amazing it is even entertained by anyone with an education above coloring books.  Using a document from the late 1700s that couldn’t conceive of the ways we would invent to kill each other is probably not a great idea.  Just like we moved on from tri-corned hats, powdered wigs, etc., we moved from single shot muskets to AR-15 assault rifles.  Things change.  The founding fathers probably didn’t think it would be a good idea to let crazy people have as much fire power as an entire Revolutionary War division.  Do you think Thomas Jefferson leaned over to John Adams and said, “You know, we should let anyone that wants a cannon buy a cannon.  Like that guy that was begging us for schillings outside of Ye Olde Tavern last night.  He should get a cannon if he wants one.  That’s what this new America thing is all about.  Let’s get real real gone for a change.  Got any more ale in ye old pewter mug?”

 Nobody is trying to stop hunters, or keeping a family from having a gun in their home for protection.  It's probably a good idea not to make available certain kinds of weapons, registering guns and ammo purchases, and having background checks that take longer than an hour.  I think it is reasonable that ordinary citizens should get red flagged if they start buying shitloads of ammo, body armor, multiple guns, and spend too much time involved in comic books and/or video games.  If you are reading books about how to make chemical bombs, things aren’t going to end well for anyone.  These are the actions that always end in news interviews with neighbors saying how “polite and quiet” the killers were.  “He kept to himself mostly.  Real quiet.  Always very polite.  I couldn’t imagine him ever doing something like this.”

 There are some very powerful lessons this incident has taught all of us.  1)  As a society, we should make it almost impossible to own assault rifles, especially if you are a white male under 30 that has lost their mind.  2)  It is safer to be floating around in a kayak buzzed up on pale ale worried about chimp attacks than going to a Batman movie.  To be safe, don’t go to the Batman movie at all.  Go see “Moonrise Kingdom” instead.  It’s better.  3)  Stay out of Colorado.  The incessant hippie eco-vegan camping jam band pro-environmental yoga crystal power Caucasian lifestyle will break you in two.


At July 23, 2012 at 6:30:00 PM EDT , Blogger vfh159 said...


At July 24, 2012 at 1:06:00 AM EDT , Blogger AZ said...


At July 24, 2012 at 10:20:00 AM EDT , Blogger Frank said...

Just want to make a brief point... One very important distinction between times of yore and today, is that family and neighbors used to be involved with one another much more so than today. In that if someone started showing signs of mental instability, someone, somehow, would get involved and pretty much remove them from the normal people. Now, family, friends and neighbors rarely get involved, lest they look uncool, be labeled as racist or generally be viewed as lacking an appreciation for "diversity". Now we wait for our nanny government to get involved, which, as we see time and time again, is pretty much just in a "clean-up" mode. It takes a village, the boots on the ground, if you will, to keep these nut jobs contained. We just no longer view it as our individual responsibility to do so. The power of the individual continually gives way to the power of our increasingly failing institutions.

At July 29, 2012 at 3:33:00 PM EDT , Blogger Unknown said...

If they outlaw assault weapons, how will the men who own these guns compensate for a small penis?

At August 1, 2012 at 1:54:00 PM EDT , Blogger Walter Zoomie said...

Oh cool. The "small penis" meme.
It had to happen, I suppose. are a talented writer and musician, but you really should stick to topics with which you are familiar.

Guns ain't it.

At August 1, 2012 at 10:33:00 PM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

All I know is they interviewed a "gun guy" who said, he targeted the theater, because there are no guns allowed. Had they allowed guns 30 or more people would have been armed and put an end to his assault. Yep, 30 people shooting in a dark theater would have limited this story to Section D. Silly.

At August 2, 2012 at 2:58:00 PM EDT , Blogger Walter Zoomie said...

It's much better to curl up fetal and wait for the bullet?

One armed citizen could have taken out the trash in that theater.

And before you go all 'she was a security guard and had law-enforcement experience'...let me tell you something.

The gun owners I know practice and train also. I am a gun owner 30 years, and former Marine. I practice too, and I have never hurt a living creature with a firearm unless it was attacking me (2 Rottweliers), or I was going to eat it (deer).

If you don't own a firearm, you don't take your liberty seriously.

If you don't own a firearm, you want to be controlled by others, and by extension, you wish everyone else to be controlled as well.

An armed, law-abiding citizen cannot be so easily controlled..which is a BIG problem for the liberal/progressive types...and why they push for more gun laws.

The problem with more gun laws is that you punish the whole for the sins of the few.

In conclusion, when one reads the founders' words, one can easily conclude that the second amendment has nothing to do with hunting or skeet shooting, and everything to to with keeping tyranny at bay using individual tools similar to what the tyrants use.

At August 2, 2012 at 10:48:00 PM EDT , Blogger Blue said...

Damn, Zoomie. Here ya are posting stuff all serious and shit. You're on top of your game. Good job, Brother. :) You handled the "small penis" thingy like a pro!

Anyway, some statistics borrowed from Brock and presented in an easy to read format for the uneducated:

"The FBI murder statistics do not differentiate between types of rifles. There are about 100 million rifles in the United States. In 2009, the last year in which numbers have been reported, there were 13,636 murders. Guns were used to murder 9,146 people. Hands and feet were used to murder 801 people. Blunt objects were used to murder 611 people. Rifles were used to murder 348 people, and that is all rifles, of which assault rifles are only a small fraction. Assault rifles are used so infrequently in homicides that many police departments almost never see them; in 2009, there were nine states that did not have a single murder committed with any rifle."

Just an FYI: FBI crime data is really pretty easy to find via a Google search. It is the most complete and accurate data available.

Whenever one hears an interesting sound bite, it would probably behoove that person to do a little research on their own before repeating something that may be only partially true, or, God forbid, completely untrue.

Always hesitate to take the word of a person with an agenda. Verify.

Telling lies or half truths to folks who know you are telling lies or half truths only makes you look, well, not so bright.

Opinions are good. They indicate a mind at work. Informed opinions are always much better than emotional opinions.

Oh! Zoomie is right. He should be listened to and taken seriously.

One person with a gun in the audience in the theater in Aurora could have made a big difference. I don't know how many of you have ever been shot at (for real, not during a video game) but I can tell you that in nearly 100% of "first time being shot at situations" your natural reaction is to get the hell out of the way, just like all of the patrons in that theater tried to get out of the way. One person returning fire would have disrupted Holmes' plan and would have caused him to remove himself from the theater, most rickety-tik. He had no plan to die that night. He did have a plan to exit the theater. Two people returning fire would have caused him to be so confused that he would have shit himself.

The silly comment regarding returning fire in a "dark" theater holds no water. A bullet doesn't need light to travel toward it's target. It was "dark" for Holmes' bullets, too, yet they seemed to find their mark. Muzzle flash, Grasshopper. Shoot toward the muzzle flash. Pretty basic stuff.

And, to defer once again to Zoomie, the folks who legally carry guns tend to practice with those guns. A lot. Certainly more than most Law Enforcement. They also tend to be clear thinking, responsible individuals. That's probably why Concealed Permit Holders almost never commit gun crimes. The FBI calls the number of crimes (all crime, not just gun crime) committed by Concealed Carry Permit holders "statistically insignificant".

Think about that.

Just sayin'

Have a nice night! :)

At August 3, 2012 at 11:18:00 AM EDT , Blogger Brock Townsend said...

Ah, the penis thingy again.

A fear of guns is.........

At August 3, 2012 at 1:30:00 PM EDT , Blogger Dedicated_Dad said...

A kid in China just killed 9 with a knife - do you plan on banning them too?

As to your "cannon" meme, it just shows how ignorant you are. Many DID own them as anyone COULD, and mortars as well. They could also own what amounted to battleships - ships designed and built to do nothing but carry a hundred or so cannon and fire them at other ships to give them the choice of sinking or surrendering.

In times of conflict, CONgress could and did issue letters of marque and reprisal which allowed such owners to go after any ships flying the enemy's flag and keep the proceeds for their own profit.

Then there's the subject of the Constitution. It is ultimately the supreme law of the land, and as long as it's ignored we are in a situation where there simply is NO RULE OF LAW!

If you don't like what it says, then AMEND IT - the process is clear-cut and has been done more than 20 times now! Ignoring it however is quite simply *NOT* an option!

Lastly, I'll be blunt: how many of us are you willing to kill to get to your "gun-free utopia"?

A hundred?

A thousand?

A million?

Three million?

Ten million?

The fact is that there are a LARGE number of us out here with the historical literacy to understand that tyranny is a natural product of power - and that a disarmed citizenry is unable to keep the tyrants in check.

We'd rather die than forfeit our birthright of citizenship and our G*d-given rights to self-defense.

To be even more blunt, those willing to die for a principle are also generally willing to help others do so as well - and most I know would be more than capable of seeing that they take a few of their enemies with them.

Even if only three percent of Americans were to refuse to submit, that's ten million people you'll have to kill to implement your "utopia." Even if it's only three percent of gun-owners that's still something close to four million - and most of them aren't going to die alone!

Somehow a hot civil war and at least 8-10 million dead doesn't sound very good to me - but then I'm one of Dear Reader's "bitter clingers" you lot love to hate so much so...

One final question: After you've finished your civil war and buried millions of dead that result, how are you going to stop the average "handy" man or woman from building more guns?

Even the most basic internet search would show you film of Urdu tribesman in Pakistan working in CAVES, with hand-tools, making firearms out of scrap-metal that are pretty much indistinguishable from "the real thing."

Even the most basic combination of some bits of pipe, a 2x4, a nail and a rubber-band can easily yield a rudimentary shotgun that's more than adequate for the task, and full-auto submachine guns are only a bit more complex but still within the power of most real men using only basic hand-tools and parts available at any well-stocked hardware store.

Search for "expedient homemade firearms" for some eye-opening education!

The simple reality is that the occasional nutjob is the price we pay for LIBERTY. A truly FREE society is *NOT* a truly SAFE one - but then old Ben Franklin warned us centuries ago that "those who trade their essential liberty for a little illusion of safety deserve and will have neither."

If that's what you want, we won't stand in your way - but don't try to take our Liberty from us!

If you don't want a gun, don't buy one -- but you'd damn well better leave MINE alone!

At August 3, 2012 at 5:33:00 PM EDT , Blogger Brock Townsend said...

Now that's good DD:) and posted.

At August 6, 2012 at 4:04:00 PM EDT , Blogger Greg Miller said...

Man, you gun guys get worked up. I don't want to spoil your fun. I just don't want it easy for innocent people to be killed. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

I would also like to point out I am not nearly as concerned about gun control as I am about the continued rise of Boy Bands, the unexplained change in packaging of Lipton unsweetened iced tea from glass to plastic in a shape that doesn't fit my cup holder, and my inability to get in to the Avon Lake Boat Club. These are much bigger "hot button" issues for me...

At August 8, 2012 at 10:26:00 AM EDT , Blogger Frank said...

Actually, some pretty good points posted here. For the record. I own a few guns for protection. I refuse to be a victim that doesn't go down swinging. If the government has guns, then you better believe I'll have a gun. Cold dead hands kind of belief here. As to the "how will the men who own these guns compensate for a small penis?" line... well, they could certainly be a lead singer for a rock-n-roll band. Sorry Greg, I just couldn't resist.


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