Thursday, March 20, 2014

Nurse the Hate: Tournament Day 1

The first day of the NCAA Tournament is one of my all time favorite days of the year.  I still fondly remember the time when a kid from Kentucky hit an otherwise meaningless 30 foot jumpshot at the buzzer to provide a late 27 point cover while a group of us wept for joy on Cleopatra's Barge at Caesar's Palace.  There is something very subversive about slinking away from work to watch the first round games with other degenerates avoiding work responsibilities.  However, I do tend to look down on those that are white knuckling the NC State v St. Louis game strictly due to their $5 office bracket.  This is the time of year to man-up and gamble wildly on sporting events that you have absolutely no real idea about the outcome.  I will later be swaggering around some sports bar called something like TJ McDrunky's running my mouth about the "senior guard play" of Iowa State when, in fact, I have no idea of what I am talking about.  It's all shit talk.  All of it.  That doesn't mean I'll be on the sidelines today.  It's the opposite.  I'm swinging for the fences based purely on internet research and betting on trends. 

I'm on Dayton +6.5.  I haven't followed Ohio State this year.  The only thing I really know about them is that every time I open a sports page the headline reads "Ohio State Disappoints Everyone Again".  If Ohio State somehow wins and covers this game, I will just double down on them next game.  Betting against the Buckeyes is sold gold this year.  Plus, I really enjoy betting against Ohio State in a room filled with OSU honks.  The dirty looks are great when I do the robot to Salt N Pepa's "Push It" on the jukebox after I win the wager.

I read a blogger that really shines at this time of year.  As far as I can tell, all he does is watch college basketball games on TV and read about college basketball while he's on the shitter.  That's a guy you need to know today.  He really likes Pittsburgh -6.5.  That's not because Pittsburgh is so great, but rather Colorado is the second worst team in the tournament this year according to a bunch of cross analyzed info.  If someone who does nothing else but watch basketball tells me something like this, I believe him.

I'm going to take Syracuse -13 today for two reasons.  First, they really fell apart after a great start.  That means the public thinks that they will immediately flame out against Western Michigan.  To think that, you would have to avoid considering how mad the MAC Conference has become.  Teams from the Horizon League like to kick the fuck out of MAC teams in December to warm up for the rigors of Youngstown State and University of Illinois at Chicago in league play.  You think those Western Michigan guys are going to step up against a legitimate basketball team like Syracuse?  I don't.  The second big reason for me is the very real possibility I will be watching this game with some Syracuse grads.  They are good guys, and I would prefer to be part of the club than an antagonist in this case.  I will not be doing the robot to "Push It" in this instance.

That blogger guy loves NC State +3 over St. Louis.  For some reason he thinks St. Louis is totally overrated.  I, on the other hand, don't even know what St. Louis's mascot is, unless of course the Cardinals are playing the NC State basketball team.  If that is the case I am very concerned about Yadier Molina's ability to get up and down the floor vs. a bunch of long limbed college athletes.  I think a decade of catching in the big leagues is going to really prevent him from playing above the rim too.  If the Cardinals baseball team isn't the team that NC State is playing, I'm basically betting this game blind. 


At April 11, 2014 at 1:56:00 AM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

Brilliant. Buffalo was awash with THE robot.


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