Nurse the Hate: Euro Tour Diary Day 3 Stuttgart Off Day
I wake up at 11. It
feels really early. I shuffle off to the
strange Euro shower to get it together and literally almost run into Oliver’s
wife Krissi. She has just returned from
a visit with her mother to discover her apartment is in shambles and a strange
American man in his underwear in her hallway.
This can't be what she expected to find at almost noon in her home. Though I didn’t notice last night, Oliver had hosted a party where a
bunch of dudes came over to eat poached eggs, drink heavily, and watch a rugby
championship on TV. That must be how one watches rugby in The Fatherland. The whole scene
reminds me of coming down to my college kitchen to survey the damage from the
party the night before. It is a little
out of hand. Rudy the cat stares at me
with contempt.
It is Sunday. It is a
holiday. It is Europe. Everything
is closed. 85% of restaurants are
closed, all stores, and anything you need is unavailable unless you can get it
from a gas station. What the hell do these people do when they need to buy a rubber raft or fish sticks? What kind of savages are these? I am ravenously
hungry. Oliver hears me rooting around
in the wreckage of the kitchen and gets up, though it appears it is quite
painful for him to do so. A man that I left drinking scotch shortly before sun up is not generally in the mood to "do brunch". I beg him to
stay in bed as I am self-sufficient, but he is a good host. We scrounge up the leftover egg whites from
yesterday’s egg poaching party that he inexplicably saved and toss in some
weird ass sausage from what can only be called a meat brick. There are two slices of bread in the house so
we each get one piece of toast. Afterwards
I get to work on projects for the Level 4 wine certification I am pursuing.
I had made plans that afternoon to meet my friends Andi and Anji at the art
museum which is located conveniently next door.
The apartment is sort of wild. It
is on the roof of a commercial building, the apartment originally constructed
for a maintenance person to live in.
This two bedroom place has the entire roof of the building as a
terrace. There are no neighbors in a
half mile in any direction. They have
had full bands play parties on their roof.
Slayer could set up to play and no one would complain. It’s pretty cool to be in the middle of the
action, yet have a totally secluded apartment. I pull myself up to the edge and look across the city.
I go to the museum for the jazz age exhibition. The museum also boasts a large collection of
Otto Dix paintings, one of my favorite German artists. Anji and Andi get their signals crossed so we
miss our rendezvous at the front door. I
walk around the modern art museum amongst German visitors and their clunky
black eyeglasses and functional footwear.
It was worth the trip for the Dix paintings alone. Jean-Michel Basquiat. Pollock. Max Beckman. There is also a repetitive film loop of a
topless Josephine Baker dancing while 1920s jazz plays over it. How very artsy. My phone buzzes with a text message from
Christoph. “Just spoke to Sister
Ant. She just got up. The others are still sleeping.” It is 4:52 pm.
In front of the museum a large group of Turks or Kurds have
gathered around a flimsy temporary stage. Fast
paced traditional music blares with some guy wailing on a lute looking stringed
instrument. He’s really good. Flag waving men and women in head scarves
dance in a circle. After the music stops,
a different man grabs the mic and starts yelling about something. He makes that mistake that people who are unfamiliar
with PAs make and think he needs to shout because it is a large area and
crowd. This results in him sounding like
a distorted “Mmmphh MM Ma FuhMah MummpH!!!!!!” No one pays attention to him, the young
people talking amongst themselves. The music
starts again as does the dancing. It’s a
political rally of some kind, but since I don’t read German I have no idea if
it is Kurds pissed off, other people pissed off at Kurds, or maybe just a
protest about utility rates. People love
holding banners in Europe though. Bored
looking riot cops look on holding batons.
It is sort of like a Turkish high school dance with dudes in beards
waving flags with the possibility of being beaten by guys in helmets.
The Turkish
population and their place in Germany is interesting. The Turks came into the country after WWII as the
young German male population traditionally used for labor had all been killed off in
the war. There was a need and Turkish
men filled it. Young men from Turkey
came in to work in construction with the idea that they would leave after
making money. The Germans assumed they
would leave as well, so no one really worried about the idea of this population
assimilating into what is a very homogeneous society. The problem is that the Turks never left and
now this disenfranchised group of people is still here, part of but not totally
a part of Germany. In any city in
Germany there are right now a group of five swarthy looking Turkish guys
smoking cigarettes by the train station passing suspicious looking sideways glances. Their friends work at the kebap shop around the corner, or in the internet cafe that sells cheap mobile phones.
I don’t know how this will play out on the long run,
especially with the flood of Syrian and Middle Eastern refugees flooding into
the country. The rhetoric from the
country is one of assimilation, but I can’t imagine young little Greta bringing
home a dark haired Syrian boy and introducing him as her love to her father
Hans. Hans isn’t going to backslap this
kid and say “Shamir! You gotta bring the
family over for sausages and wheat beers!
Or if you’d like, we will head over to your place and eat some tabouli!” It will be interesting to see how it plays
out. I think there will be a rise in “nationalist”
political parties much like in France.
The German people are very pragmatic though and will find a way. The fascinating thing will be to see how they
get there.
I head back to the apartment where I finish my written wine
assignments. Now it's time to launch Operation Local Wines. My plan is to drink my way
through the wines I bought yesterday. I bought a bunch of wacky ass grapes I've never had before. As
soon as Sugar and Leo had gotten wind of that yesterday, they were all in. They decide to come over to the apartment to
fetch me with Sister Ant, so I open a weissburgunder (which turns out to be a different
word for pinot gris) while watching the American Armed Forces Network feed of
the London NFL game. During commercial breaks they cut to a slick studio where German guys in mullets talk about what is going on with the game. It's really odd. I wish I knew what they were saying. Oliver, Krissi and
I talk about all kinds of topics while watching the Jags beat the fuck out of
the Bills. It’s not easy to explain the
appeal of Donald Trump or the problems of gun control in America to logical
strangers by the way.
At 630p the crew shows up and I open up a Silvaner. We hang out for a bit but I am ready to
go. I feel like I am imposing on these
nice people. I am also totally starving
as all I have had to eat were those egg whites 7 hours ago. Meanwhile Sugar and Leo just had breakfast in
the gathering dusk 45 minutes ago. I am
so hungry I might eat my cowboy boot. We
walk back in the fog to Antje’s apartment hoping to not be attacked by a
werewolf. This being Sunday night in
Germany, every restaurant we pass is closed.
I might have to kill a squirrel.
Antje makes me a really nice spaghetti meal and even a starter of crazy
beet root and horseradish spread. I open
the rest of the reds (which were pedestrian at best). We watch some Schimanski videos on youtube. Based on what I see, it appears that this
jacket of mine will lead me to solve crimes to help ballerinas and I will probably
throw someone through a window. It’s
great to have that to look forward to this week. I walk back to the apartment in the fog.
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