NFL Week 2: Where Is My Flag?

 

I walk my bassets in the park in the mornings.  This is a ritual that we are all on board with as it gives me a chance to quietly contemplate my upcoming day, and provides them with the chance to eat skunk poop.  It's a win all around.  It is generally a quiet time of day with only a few people exercising that cross our path.  This is generally Moms outfitted in expensive mall running gear chugging along with a water bottle clamped to their belt as if their 2 mile run might deplete them of all liquid reserves.  There is also the occasional bird watcher.  The bird watcher is a curious sort.  They are almost always alone, dressed for a dorky safari and focused like Olympic athletes on stalking out Red Throated Warblers with their binoculars, or whatever the fuck it is they are doing.  The bird watchers always make me feel sad, but I might be projecting as they seem to always be having a great time.  Today I saw someone new.

There was a couple striding down Lake Rd with their "action gear" of leggings and Body Armor shirts.  They were late middle age, older than me, with a posture of perhaps too much confidence.  The man had a red shirt, and his female companion blue.  They were both wearing straw cowboy hats.  The man had an enormous "Trump 2020" flag he was carrying across his shoulder like he was on his way to a rally.  There wasn't a rally though.  They were just two people having their own Facism parade on a Saturday morning. "Hey babe!  Let's go!  I want to get this work out in before cutting the grass!  Hey!  Where in the hell did you put my Trump flag?"

It's odd that people identify so heavily with someone that has, by any reasonable account, been a complete failure.  I can't wrap my head around why anyone would publicly walk around supporting something that is so fucked up, broken, and brings so many people so much pain.  Then again, I don't understand why people support the Detroit Lions either.  

I don't know if you happened to see how the Lions bungled their way into a loss versus the woeful Bears last Sunday, but it was very "Lionesque".  I think of "Lionesque" as a step below "Brownsy", as in predictably bad versus shockingly inept.  I am starting to think of Lion's coach Matt Patricia as a real sad sack as he seems too be at the wheel of many of these "pull defeat from the jaws off victory" losses.  On  paper, the Lions aren't that bad.  Yet, they found a way to lose.  It might be why you never see anyone walking down the street with a Lions flag on a Saturday morning.  Maybe if they drummed up more racism?  I don't know.  

Regardless, this week the Lions are playing Green Bay, America's Most Overrated Team.  The narrative on the Packers is that they are a 13-3 team with Hall of Fame QB Aaron Rodgers having a chip on his shoulder.  They can't lose.  The Lions aren't really much different than the Pack except they have the "Lion Magic".  Are they going to win Sunday?  Of course not.  Will they stay within six?  Yeah, probably.  Detroit +6.

 I am going to continue to bet against the narrative this week and take Jacksonville.  The story line on them is that they are tanking.  They will never win, and though they won last week, that was a fluke.  Look, I am not saying the Jaguars are any good.  They will likely get the #1 pick in next year's draft.  No one will care in Jacksonville and no one will go to their games.  However, like Miami last year, they aren't as far away from the other teams as people perceive them to be.  They are getting 8.5 this week against Tennessee, a team everyone thinks went 14-2 last year but actually just snuck in the playoffs.  Tennessee is coming off a short week and will run the football as that is essentially all they do.  This should be a nice low scoring game, and I like Jacksonville to just sort of hang around.  Jacksonville +8.5

The Jets are maybe the worst team in the league right now.  I try to never bet on the Jets and even discussing involving them in this totals bet is giving me the shakes.  Still, it seems impossible that they will score.  They have no (0) offensive weapons and a QB that is the second coming of Terry Hanratty.  The 49ers defense is good enough to shut this team down.  However, I don't see the 49ers lighting g it up.  Kittle is out with a sprained knee, which does not sound pleasant.  The 49ers haven't lit up the scoreboard since week 9 of last season.  This is exactly the kind of game they win 17-3, like they did last year vs Washington Football Team (which I love to say whenever I can).  Gimme SF/Jets UNDER

Now, where is my goddamn Lions flag?

Season Record 2-0