Bloodied But Not Down... NFL Week 11

 Now that my phone always eavesdrops on my conversations, out of nowhere it started providing me with medicines to repair deep seeded health fears I spoke aloud in conversation with my doctor.  This is increasingly unsettling.  It's especially unsettling when you read the side effects in the small print of these advertised medicines.  "Hmmm... Maybe profuse anal bleeding and open sores on my back aren't THAT bad if I can address my blood pressure creeping up."  Then I got something even worse pop up.  Staring at me on social media, I got served a photo of some woman that for a brief period used to be the General Manager of Channel 5 during my tenure there.  She was recently appointed something like Director of a Conference Center in Foggy Bottom Arkansas or some such shit.  It was a HUGE step down from her old gig in pay and perks, that's for sure.  I stared at the dumpy old lady in the photo, and wondered "How in the hell did that woman exert so much control over my life for a few years?".  

The work thing is crazy.  You can randomly get placed in a situation where some weak minded emotionally stunted person is placed in a position where they can randomly make your life miserable.  I have worked for some certifiable monsters.  Some of them were just "little people" that had never naturally risen to places of prominence in their social circles because they just didn't have any juice.  They had never been entrusted by whatever peer group they are in to pick where to order a pizza much less be the leader, and then suddenly they find an office job with a staff of people kissing their ass to curry favor.  It drives them fucking crazy.  They start to think "Hey, I'm really something now that I am Assistant Regional Manager of District Four", when in fact they are the same dipshits they always were and the "power" they have isn't real.  You get these guys swaggering around an airport like they are Elon Musk because they are the Omaha Region Manager of Target.  In my case, this General Manager of a Top 20 ABC affiliate went from being a Small Time Mussolini transformed into an old fat woman in a dress presumably bossing around four people in a shitty conference center in Foggy Bottom.     

I stared down at that picture and remembered how she would assemble the entire staff and just pontificate, talk complete shit in jargon circles in an attempt to prove to herself how exalted she was in this "important" role.  After one of these meetings where the staff listened to her drone on about herself, a woman I worked with said, "Can you tell me what she meant?  I didn't understand anything she said.  What does Friendraising mean?"  I told my co-worker to chill out.  She didn't really say anything.  It was like having to listen to a Castro speech in the 1970s.

I wondered what her memories are of that time.  I'm sure that she twisted her past into something pleasant as opposed to the reality of her being a monster everyone avoided for fear of a professional execution on a whim.  Her bio at the convention center touts her as having a dazzling array of jargon laden skills.  I found this not to be true.  I found her to be an obstacle to make money for myself and the company because she was fucking crazy.  This one time we had this deal with Ganley Auto come up for renewal.  Tom Ganley used to put money into Crimestoppers because he was terrorized by the mob at some point, and then thought it would be a good idea to back this on air police initiative for the good of the community while also keeping his name front and center.  It was a good idea that worked for everyone.  From the station standpoint, all we had to do was air these :30 units and then put a "Bad Guy" who was wanted up on the news screen once a week.  It was a win/win and easy.  I'm trying to renew this thing, and I'm getting some kind of stall from the GM woman to sign off on it.  I can't move ahead and get the money until she rubber stamps it, but she won't commit.  It makes no sense because we had done it for years, everyone agreed it was "on brand" and she didn't have to do shit.  Still, she's delaying doing anything one way or the other.  This goes on and on and on.  I got the client calling me saying "WTF man?  We doing this or not next year?  If not, your competition will do it."  This woman keeps stalling and I'm losing my mind.  What the fuck is the problem here lady?

This woman is really volatile.  Everyone in the station is afraid to confront her and get an answer because A) they're weak and B) they think if they ask a tough question maybe she will think ill of them and do something irrational like when she wanted to fire the national sales manager when he said on the week of their mutual birthdays "Looks like we are both the same age!  We're getting up there!".  The guy had been there for 15 years doing his job and she wants to clip him for that.  She's that terrifying combination of incompetent and vindictive while trying to hide from everyone she doesn't know what the fuck she is doing.  What happens is she stalls so long, the client takes it somewhere else.  It's the worst case scenario.  The station is out six figures and I'm out something like $20,000 of annual income.  It's a disaster.

THIS is when she decides to call a staff meeting to dig into the situation.  It's pointless.  The train left the station you dumbfuck.  All the department heads are sitting around the table, sort of like a Trump meeting where they all race in to praise her.  Nobody wants to veer into uncomfortable reality of her fucking this thing up.  The meeting starts and she pretends she doesn't know what the status is.  "Ummmm... We lost the buy and it's on another station as of two weeks ago."  This is when she says to me "I want you to set up a meeting with me and Tom Ganley."  Of course I'm thinking, "Well, what's the point of that?  It's done lady.  I fucking told you for weeks what was going to happen and then it happened."  I asked her what she wanted me to say was the pretense of this meeting.  I swear to God, this is what she said.  "Tell him I have a plan.  I just want to get in the room with him and see the whites of his eyes."

What the fuck are you talking about?  I asked her what the plan was so I was clear when I called what was going to be discussed.  "Oh, I have a plan."  Great.  What is it?  "I can't tell you right now because I'd have to kill you."  (No laughs from the grim faced staff). Look, if you don't have a plan, let's at least get one together.  "Oh, I have a plan.  I just can't tell YOU."   The entire table of department heads is sitting there and they are blank faced like they have left their bodies.  There's like ten people sitting there.  No one is stepping in to say shit.  They are pretending they aren't there.  It's just me and the crazy lady at this point.  She repeats "I want to see the whites of his eyes."  Now I could have left it there like those other weasels sitting there leaving me to die, but this is KRAZY.  That's when I say, "Look, it's obvious you don't have a plan, and that's fine, but at least tell me what I'm working with here so when I call over to set up this meeting I can set some reasonable expectations.  As far as he's concerned none of this is an issue and he's moved on.  What is the pretense for this meeting?  I need to have something rational."  She just looked at me and said "Oh, he'll want to meet with ME.  I have something big.  REALLY big."

As you might expect, she didn't have a plan.  She didn't get the money back.  She went and ate lunch with the guy at a steakhouse.  She didn't let me go to the meeting because I was going to see in person that she didn't have a plan and probably never even addressed it.  She tried to blame my manager and I a few weeks later for losing the money.  She eventually got fired from the job when she stayed at the station overnight during what she thought would be a big snowstorm that she wanted to sell to corporate management as her being the Captain at the Wheel during the Blizzard of 78, and padded around the facility in onesy pajamas yelling at the Late News crew.  It snowed a quarter inch out East, and her fragile mental health got exposed.  The news director ratted her out to Corporate I think.  She disappeared a few weeks later and a guy from Corporate came in and sheepishly admitted that maybe she needed some help.  Now, all these years later, there she was on my fucking phone.  How on Earth did I allow that piece of shit have that much control over my life?  I can tell you right now, there's some small staff in Foggy Bottom picking over some leftover doughnuts by some stale coffee that's already come to the conclusion that she is mentally ill.     

That's the randomness in life.  It just as easily could have been me making her miserable, but instead it was me trying to figure out what "seeing the whites of his eyes" could have meant when selling TV ads.  It's got to be the same way for these NFL QBs when they get drafted.  It's the random turn of a card.  One guy becomes a Bronco with Sean Peyton.  The other becomes a Jet.  Sam Darnold becomes a Jet and is totally fucked.  Can you imagine the culture shock from being The Man at USC to suddenly finding yourself a Jet?  He leaves there shattered, has a bad stint at Carolina, and finally makes his way to Minnesota and becomes a franchise QB.  Darnold's old coach Adam Gase from the Jets got fired after trashing the team and is out of the NFL.  Hell, I could have gone in and taken the Jets to a 2-14 record but at least I wouldn't have been an asshole like Gase.  The worm has turned now.  It turns out Darnold was worth one of the first picks in the draft.  Gase might be at a competing Conference Center from my old GM.  Give me Seattle +3.5 against the Rams.  This should be a great game.  Somebody wins this by one score I think.  I'll take the points.     

The wind is howling in NE Ohio today.  Dare I say "the gales of November came early".  I remember when the Browns drafted Dillon Gabriel, there was an interview clip that got played of how the Hawaiian QB doesn't like playing in bad weather.  Who else but the Browns would then think "we gotta get that guy?".  How can the Browns beat a good team with Gabriel at QB in the wind?  Baltimore is trending the right direction and it seems a foregone conclusion that they are going to win the AFC North with Lamar back on the field.  Sure...  The Browns defense is good at home, they know how to play Lamar, but how do the Browns score?  Seriously... How do they move the ball consistently?  Dillon Gabriel is Connor Shaw is Charlie Frye is Ty Detmer is Cody Kessler.  The Ravens need this game and the Browns know the season is over.  This game will be ugly and no one cares in the near empty stands.  I might bet the under Gabriel passing yards too if it's really windy at kickoff.  Baltimore -7.5

I got burned last week when Tennessee got a pick 6 and a punt return TD to cover.  They aren't doing that two weeks in a row.  That franchise is a great example of what happens when the kids think they are smarter than the Old Man that made the money that bought the team.  They get control of the team, fire Vrabel who immediately makes the Patriots a Super Bowl contender.  They hire Callahan's kid that doesn't know what the fuck he is doing and the team goes down the shitter.  Tennessee is EASILY the worst team in the league.  Look, I don't think Houston is any good either but they're better than Tennessee.  It's odd to be giving almost a touchdown on the road with Davis Mills, but here we are folks.  Houston -5.5.

Buffalo probably isn't very good, but they just got embarrassed last week by the Dolphins.  The Dolphins poured it on so bad that their coach drove by a Bills bar in Miami just to troll them.  Fuck.  That's bad.  Tampa was a nice story early but they are decimated by injuries.  Another key point is their quality of wins.  Tampa has beaten one good team this year, Seattle.  Good win.  They lost to New England, Detroit, and Philadelphia.  They beat the Saints, Niners and Jets.  I think Buffalo at home after a bad loss is more like NE/Det/Philly than they are Saints/Jets/Niners.  Buffalo money line.

OK, I've been scuffling.  Here's where I'm at on Sundays...

Current Record; 14-18