Saturday, October 19, 2019

Nurse The Hate: Thoughts On Current Events and NFL Locks

I have not written about the cataclysmic regime of Il Duce 2, aka president Trump, in some time. I became disheartened as it sunk in that a shockingly large section of the population agrees with his ideas of racism and the idea of the moral vacuum of Fear’s song “I don’t care about you, fuck you”.  Sometimes people miss when the joke is on them.  Even more disheartening has been the stark realization that two thirds of the population don’t care about anything much at all. When it dawns on you that a wide swath of the crowd at a Browns game isn’t that different from a herd of goats, it becomes less pressing to engage the goats and say “Goats, don’t you notice that we are allowing ourselves to become a dictatorship and are abandoning our moral code?”. Sadly, the goats just want some food pellets and a place to shit. On an unrelated note, I see Subway has beef brisket for $4.99.

I am old enough to remember when Nixon was caught trying to steal his opposition’s secrets in a cheap burglary at Watergate. The population was stunned that our highest office could be so corrupt and self serving. People were rivited as the truth came out. Nixon now seems quaint against the cartoonishly buffoonish schemes Trump has cooked up. Yet, no one seems to really give a fuck that Trump not only is committing crimes, but is openly admitting to doing so. The guy is so brazen that as he is under investigation for colluding with a foreign government to get elected, he is busy colluding with yet another foreign to plot against his "enemies". When that shit hits the fan, instead of laying low, he awards his hotel an enormous G7 Summit contract that enriches him personally and violates the laws regarding foreign nations peddling for influence by giving lavish gifts.  He could be impeached for that alone.  The shit comes so fast, it's hard to take it all in, which is part of the secret I suppose.  Trump is daring someone to stop him as the Wal Mart/Suburban Nazi crowd cheers him on.  "Yeah!  The truth is the enemy!  Tell it like it is Donnie!  Drain the Swamp!"  He IS the fucking swamp you morons...  The whole thing is baffling.   

If he wasn't dragging the rest of us down the toilet, you'd have to admire him.  Trump, while undeniably an intellectual child and sociopath, has figured out that most Americans aren’t going to put forth the effort necessary to enforce our laws. This boat is sinking and years from now when the history is studied, students and scholars alike will wonder “How did those people just sit there and let that happen?  They had it all...”. I don’t know what that answer is by the way.  This used to be a country I was proud of, warts and all.  I don’t know how much longer I can pretend that is the case.  If America was Van Halen, this period of time is clearly Van Halen 3 as fronted by Gary Cherone.  I wonder if we have a comeback album left in us?

The good news is we do have plenty of NFL football.  There is no better way to distract oneself from the immediate destruction of all you cherish than a nice afternoon of deviant gambling.  And is there anything more deviant than willingly betting on the New York Giants?  I am jumping on the Giants -3 over Arizona.  Yes, Arizona has won two in a row, mostly due to the fact Kyler Murray is running the ball.  He'll be dead by December, but he's fun to watch now.  He threw three TDs last week.  He is The Man.  Well, he did throw those three TDs against Atlanta, who has apparently given up already on the 2019 season.  Yes, his other win was over the Cincinnati Bengals, a team that got rid of the worst coach in modern history and somehow replaced him with someone even less qualified.  Who dey!  

The Giants are being valued as even against the Cards when you take out the 3 point home field advantage.  The Giants have lost their last two games to what will be highly seeded playoff teams (New England and Minnesota), but prior to that beat Washington and Tampa.  It should be noted that they did so without their two best offensive players in Ebron and Barkley.  So you are telling me that the Giants are even with Arizona even as they add their two best players?  No way.  I love the Giants this week and am going to aggressively bet they can grind out an ugly win at home.  Giants -3

Speaking of Atlanta, the gloom of Dan Quinn's immediate firing is in the air.  You know when you are at work and you know your supervisor is about to get cut loose?  There is that "every man for himself" mentality.  When the supervisor stomps into your area and says "Look!  You need to do this, this and this!" you might nod your head and say "you got it!", but you are thinking "Whatever fuckface, you are so out of here.  I'm going to the break room and getting some Fritos."  Those guys eating Fritos in the break room right now are the Atlanta Falcons.  

Let's contrast that with the LA Rams, losers of two straight, that desperately need a win.  Their coach is generally regarded as a young genius.  He is game planning and 100% focused on winning this week.  Atlanta's coach is calling moving companies and trying to get his wife bought into the idea of moving to a condo in Boca Raton next week.  Dan Quinn has people saying "Dead man walking!" every time he enters a room.  Dan Quinn's office already looks empty as he quietly took his plaques and bobbleheads home after hours earlier this week.  This game has the smell of "Quinn Fired As Disinterested Falcons Routed By Rams".  I'm on LA Rams -3.

Earlier this week I jumped on the San Francisco v Washington UNDER 43 points.  I thought it was a misprint when I saw it, and I cobbled together what I could in an offshore account to take advantage of this "opportunity".  This is a very complex handicap.  See if you can follow.  The Redskins fired Jay Gruden as coach last week.  This is because Jay Gruden is not a good head coach.  I concluded that because his teams don't win.  The Redskins appeared to come to the same conclusion.  They hired a guy in the building, Bill Callahan, another fella that's not a particularly good football coach but he was in house already and they didn't have to pay him more money.  Bill said at his first press conference "we are going to get behind the rushing game" which appears sensible as all of their QBs totally blow.  Taking him at his word, I believe they will try to run Adrian Peterson as often as possible and keep the clock running.  

Meanwhile the 49ers run the ball more than anyone in the league, 59% of the time.  The 49ers are going to totally outclass the Redskins in this game.  They are not interested in adding new wrinkles to the playbook because they don't need to do so.  They are going to run right at the Redskins, like they always do.  As you may recall, 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan left on bad terms with there Redskins, as all people that work there usually do.  He will not allow his team to sleep and lose this game.  I see this game being more of a "we are going to come in there and impose our will upon you, dance on your broken corpse, and then have animalistic intercourse with your fans that we pluck from the crowd like an angry band of Huns".  Two teams running the ball, being physical while the clock tick, tick, ticks...  SF/WASH UNDER 43

Season Record:  12-4-1


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