Saturday, November 16, 2019

Nurse the Hate: Quasi Elitist Views and Surefire NFL Locks

It's hard to be optimistic about the future.  People went wild about Myles Garrett ripping the helmet off the Steelers QB and trying to kill him with it.  My social media absolutely exploded with accusatory memes about how somehow that guy deserved almost being killed because blah blah blah.  Then I heard sports talk where person after person had terrible and illogical arguments about how this ugly incident was evidence of the Browns "toughening up" and "firing up the rivalry".  It confirmed one of the basic tenets of living in the United States in 2019.  The vast majority of people in the United States are absolute idiots.

One of the most impactful experiences I have had this decade was standing trapped in the Cavaliers victory parade in downtown Cleveland.  The entire region was there.  Every demographic and social class was standing shoulder to shoulder.  I lost my friends and was standing by myself for about two hours.  I stood there and listened to people talk.  It was an eye opening episode.  It's stunning to listen to average Americans.  The lack of basic understanding of EVERYTHING is mind blowing.  Frankly, I can't believe the lights come on when I hit the switch, that cars stop at red lights and society functions at all.

For example, right now about 40% of the population supports the president and does not believe he did anything wrong.  This belief stands in stark contrast to the written record he himself provided of his committing an impeachable offense.  It's not difficult to understand and see the need for the impeachment, but an astounding amount of people get swayed into pointless off topic counter arguments.  People have been conned by charlatans because they are idiots.  Large portions of the American public are being played for fools by the energy industry that have convinced them that climate change is debatable.  They believe that the Republican Party is helping the working class despite obvious evidence to the exact opposite.  They buy into whatever fiction is being created by Fox News to advance the interests of the corporate ruling class.  It's astounding.

Our house is burning down and all anyone wants to talk about is how Myles Garrett shouldn't be suspended for trying to crush a guy's skull.  Insert illogical argument here.  Meanwhile the guy in the president's chair is trying to take their health insurance away, cut their wages, and is engaged in self serving deals to advance his own pocket while selling out our national interests.  Look around the next time you walk into a grocery store.  Do you think any of the people you are looking at have any idea of what "quid pro quo" means?  Fuck no they don't.  They just want to go see a new superhero movie.  They don't want to hear about Turkey or Ukraine.  They can't even find it on a fucking map.  We're doomed.  It's time to get back to basics.  And what are the basics?  Betting on the NFL my friend!    

I like the music of the Old 97s.  I like non pasteurized French cheeses.  I like feeling the warm sun on my face.  I like the books of Ernest Hemingway.  I like blanc de blanc Champagnes.  I also like Ryan Fitzpatrick.  He seems to view playing QB in the NFL as a lark, and the last few seasons as strictly bonus time.  He genuinely seems to be having fun, despite being on the deliberating tanking Miami Dolphins.  In the last month, his stat line shows him to be a Top 10 quarterback in the league.  Miami, against earlier perception, is playing like a legitimate albeit poor NFL franchise.

I love their spot against Buffalo this week, who is a team in the exact opposite position.  The Bills are 6-3, but are living an illusion.  The Bills are like furniture from a discount store.  It looks really nice in the photograph.  Then you see it up close and discover that it's made of cardboard and hard plastic. The Bills are going to Miami and giving the Dolphins a touchdown.  The one thing I took away from watching the Bills last week was that their offense stinks.  Them giving anyone a touchdown is a reach, especially when it's a team with a Top 10 performing QB.

The issue here is that the wheels can come off Ryan Fitzpatrick at any time.  Sunday might bring "Fitzmagic".  It might also bring 4 INTs and heartbreak.  You just never know when the wheels are going to come off Fitz.  Thus, I am going to tease this game and take Miami up to +13.  But who to pair them up with...

The game that caught my eye was the Raiders at home versus the Bengals.  As of this moment, the Bengals appear to be the worst team in the league.  They are also running out Ryan Finley at QB, a guy so bad that the Bengals elected to have Joe Mixon carry the ball 30 times last week in a 30 point loss.  In even worse news, their starting left tackle is out.  The Bengals are 0-9 and don't have a pulse.  Meanwhile the Raiders are coming off an extended week, are playing at home, and have the feel of a team wanting to run it up so Jon Gruden gets talked about on Sportscenter.  Another interesting note, the Bengals are coming off a shellacking at the hands of the Ravens.  Teams are 1-6-1 against the spread after playing Baltimore this season.  Give me Oakland.  Oakland -5.5/Miami+13

I'm feeling feisty, so I am going to do another tease.  It's always a good idea to bet against Washington.  This is going to be a high wire act though, because I am going to take the Jets.  The Jets are awful.  I don't believe in their coach Adam Gase, a man that hears someone shout out "Dead man walking!" every single time he walks in a room.  The New York media is savagely calling for his head.  Yet, the Redskins are even worse.  They last scored a touchdown in 1974 when Billy Kilmer was their quarterback, or at least that's what I saw on the internet.  My theory is that if a team is unable to score points, has a rookie QB making his second career start, and is facing a decent defense, points will be at a premium.  I am taking the Jets +7.5 and teasing it with Houston against the Ravens.  This seems like a bad idea, but here's a little known fact...  The last time Deshaun Watson lost a game by more than a touchdown was in high school.  I am going to tease the Texans up to +10.5.  Winner.  (I think). Houston +10.5/Jets +7.5

Chicago and the Rams both have Top 6 defenses.  Chicago and the Rams both have bottom 10 offenses.  Jared Goff, who suddenly looks awful without a healthy Todd Gurley, doesn't play well in the cold.  Sunday night it's going to be 34 degrees with a 40% chance of snow/rain mix.  And in case you forgot, Bears QB Mitch Trubisky is terrible.  The Bears have scored 20, 14, and 16 in their last 3 games.  I will take Bears/Rams UNDER 40.5, not watch this game, and hope I got a winner when I turn on my computer in the morning.

Season record:  19-8-2


At November 17, 2019 at 8:32:00 PM EST , Blogger Ken Miller said...

81 degrees and clear skies at kickoff in the Bears-Rams game... because it is being played in Los Angeles.

At November 18, 2019 at 9:22:00 AM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

Thankfully though I got that wrong, the pick was the only thing that went right. Try that on for size Fuck-o.


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