Friday, September 16, 2011

Nurse the Hate: Hate Football

After a nice start to the weekend (LSU -3.5), I am hoping for the best as I try not to overreact to the first week of NFL and NCAA action. It’s not so easy to do. After watching Pittsburgh get fucking destroyed by Baltimore, every sports talk radio show has jumped to the conclusion it is time for the Steelers to rebuild, and the Ravens are an unstoppable force of nature. Why, the Ravens just might be the best team since the 1985 Chicago Bears. It is also logical to assume the Steelers may never score an offensive touchdown again, and their best available option may be to shut the franchise down. I would think condos would do well on that riverfront location where the stadium currently sits.

Last week Iowa State beat arch rival Iowa in an overtime game that lasted about as long as the first Gulf War, and may have left roughly the same amount of casualties. They say that the pig farmers go to Iowa. The pigs go to Iowa State. I don’t know if this is true, but I do know teams have letdowns going on the road after a game with their interstate rival. While ESPN shows college football as giant programs battling each other in a gladiatorial contest of wills, it’s actually a bunch of 20 year old dumbfucks playing each other. These are jock kids concerned with having intercourse with that girl from their Intro to World Geography class, where is the location of the keg party, and if their roommate ate the last Hot Pocket from the freezer. They haven’t learned about the week to week grind of a football season. This week Iowa State goes out to the East Coast to play U Conn in the Hood. Take UConn -4.

I am not sure why my alma mater Kent State can never seem to get a football team together. The only things most people care about in this part of the country are football, drinking beer, and watching football while they drink beer. Yet somehow Kent always blows. They have sent some of the most explosive players to the NFL in the last few years (The Steeler’s Harrison, Josh Cribbs on the Browns, a couple DBs, etc). Do they win games? Nah. They suck every year. This year they have a new coach that has installed a “winning attitude”. It’s worked out pretty well. They are 0-2, including a really embarrassing (even for Kent) loss to University of Louisiana at Lafayette in last week’s home opener. Now they go on the road to play Kansas State, who is a legitimate football program as I recall. Kansas State is 6-2 ATS in their last eight vs the MAC. I love Kansas State -17 despite squeaking by Eastern KY last week 10-7. This is Kent. They don’t win, much less on the road far from home. Note, I would probably take DeVry +6.5 against Kent.

I have liked the Chargers ever since I watched them lose a playoff game in a San Diego bar filled with friendly good looking people in sky blue jerseys. When the game was over, everyone finished their amazing local microbrew and went to the beach, the game out of their minds. Ah, to be on that beach instead of a NE Ohio chicken wing bar where people beat their dogs after a Browns loss… The Chargers have probably the best team in the AFC, but their special teams are so horrible they missed the playoffs last year. They addressed that issue and promptly allowed an opening kickoff return touchdown to the Vikings. “Hey Brah, don’t sweat it! We’ll totally come back. Let’s go get sushi!” The Chargers will probably lose to New England, but they’ll lose by a field goal. Take San Diego +7.

Can Atlanta be as bad as they looked last week? Can Philly be as good? I think there is too much hype on Philadelphia and not enough on Atlanta. I am taking Atlanta money line over the Eagles and hope to dodge the “Michael Vick returns to Atlanta” sports media onslaught. If the line moves to +3, take the points.


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