Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Nurse the Hate: Hate the Boat Club Part II


After receiving no further communication from the club, I feel that I may not have done what it takes to help myself stand out against other potential candidates.  Upset, I reached out for family.  Seeing my obvious distress, that was when my brother Ken decided to write me this glowing letter of recommendation.  I think you will agree that this document should help pave my way into entry into this esteemed social organization.

Now we sit back and wait....

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7/31/2012

Dear Mr. Slife,

I was extremely pleased to learn that my brother Greg Miller has petitioned your group for membership.  I am writing to offer my sincere recommendation for his admission to the Avon Lake Boat Club.

I am told that Greg mentioned to you my limited experience but great enthusiasm for the seafaring lifestyle.  Since my brother last wrote to you I have now been on my second boating excursion (see photo attached).  Having now traversed Sandusky Bay in the company of numerous enthusiastic revelers, I feel that my credentials as a Man Of The Sea are now above reproach.  I should also assure you that the heavily intoxicated Eastern Europeans that accompanied me on this trip will rarely, if ever, come with me when I visit my brother at The Club.  I am fully aware that their alcohol dependency and confrontational behavior is inconsistent with the family-friendly atmosphere of the Avon Lake Boat Club.

Although Greg is but a simple kayaker, I can assure you - from one Man of the Sea to another - that Greg possesses the heart of a seafaring man and will be a great asset to your fine club.

Thank You,

- Ken Miller

3 Comments:

At August 1, 2012 at 2:02:00 PM EDT , Blogger Walter Zoomie said...

Fuck 'em.
Join a gun club.

 
At August 1, 2012 at 10:34:00 PM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

Show up with your gun. Then they'll know you really mean bitness.

 
At August 6, 2012 at 10:31:00 AM EDT , Blogger ScottyJ said...

How can they say no??

 

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