Sunday, January 11, 2015

Nurse the Hate: The NFL and The Information Age

I have been looking for some kind of edge on these NFL games this afternoon and have been adrift on the Internet.  Information.  Misinformation.  Disinformation.  It is all available to me right now.  It is sort of amazing to think about the sheer amount of information that is available to any individual on the planet.  All of the world’s advances in sciences and art are just one simple click away.  Yet, instead of discovering the latest findings on cancer, trying to understand radical Islam, or reading a translated text of a Russian novelist, I am scouring the web looking for a shred of genuine info on Aaron Rodgers calf and keep getting sidetracked by puppy videos. 

If I were to go back into time and meet the great minds of the past, Da Vinci let’s say, and announce “In the future, all men will carry a small device in their hands that can instantly access all information known to man.  Within moments, any question that you have can be answered!”.  It would be staggering.  He would look at me and say, “With this incredible device, certainly man has eradicated war, pestilence, and disease!  This amazing device makes you an intellectual giant while I am but a mule in comparison!”. 

I would then stare at him blank faced as I don’t speak Italian, but let’s assume I do.  I would then have to sheepishly admit, “Well, we haven’t done any of that, but check out this video of this rad skateboard wreck.  Oh, and here’s a video of a movie star fucking some other movie star!  You want to set up a Facebook page?”.  It would be pretty embarrassing.  How much time and potential can a man waste in one lifetime?  I should be finding a cure for arthritis instead of clicking on Reverend Horton Heat videos.  It’s better just to push that from my mind.  There’s football to gamble on today…

Break down the stats any way that you’d like.  The Dallas at Green Bay game is a real toss up.  Dallas is 8-0 on the road.  Green Bay is 8-0 at home.  Aaron Rodgers has thrown 36 touchdowns and no interceptions at Lambeau.  Can that even be right?  Here’s what I am thinking…  Dallas shouldn’t even be here.  If not for the Lions getting all Lion on the Cowboys last week, we’d be talking about that thug Suh and wondering if he was just going to outright attack a member of the opposing team with a battle axe.  However, the Cowboys won that game last week and now Tony Romo can relax and go out and throw a back breaking interception this week instead of last week.

I cannot visualize Dallas going into 16 degree Green Bay and coming out with a win.  I can’t remember a Dallas team ever playing well in the snow and the cold.  Sure, the guys on the team are from all around the country, but a fella gets used to loving in a good climate.  Krusty freaks out anytime he has to wear a jacket now, and he even spends half his time here instead of Austin TX.  You think the Cowboys are going to be just fine doing that macho “I ain’t wearing no sleeves” thing in northern Wisconsin in January?  Is Demarco Murray going to run the ball well with his broken hand getting hit in the cold?  How many painkillers can Dallas fly up there?  I just don’t see it.  Dallas is a mirage.  I’m on Green Bay even if Rodgers comes out on a rascal scooter.  Green Bay -5.

You know where else it’s tough to win on the road?  Denver.  You know who sucks on the road no matter where they play?  Indianapolis.  Since the Andrew Luck era has started in Indy, they are only 14-12 on the road.  That counts plenty of games against their shitty division too.  Denver appears a little shaky.  I do not see them winning in New England next week if they advance.  However, they are absolute beasts at home.  I could trot out a bunch of stats to back this loudmouth claim up, but I do not want to spend the time necessary to find those.  Not with all the arthritis work I am going to need to get done.  Money is coming in fast on Denver.  I am going to wait for the bounce back before kickoff to take Denver -8.

Current Playoff Record:  2-4


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