Saturday, December 31, 2016

Nurse the Hate: Hate New Year's Eve

I used to like to host a party on New Year’s Eve.  It reached a point where it became more of a hassle than a good time.  It had to stop.  There was a group of people that would hedge if they were coming or not until the last minute as they would wait to see if something better would come along.  It made it impossible to plan for the party.  I don’t know what they were expecting.  I think that New Year’s Eve is riddled with unrealistic expectations.  It has to be The Best Time EVER or it is judged as a complete failure.  A host can go out and buy plenty of good food and drink, prepare great music, and set a mood.  They can’t go out and buy sex starved models in tight outfits that are inexplicably attracted to the other guests, meaningful midnight kisses from strangers, or resolution to all the guests problems.  What can I do?  My hands were tied.  Now I let someone else handle the New Year's Eve parties.

I probably should have purchased airfare to the Carribbean.  It was originally what my gut told me to do.  That would have started 2017 pointed in the right direction.  I can see myself right now in a white sport jacket with a glass of rum on the rocks thinking I was charming when in fact all the resort guests would sidle up to various hotel employees asking “Can that man be removed?  I don’t think he’s even a guest here and he is freaking my kids out.”  As the midnight countdown is being made I could hear it becoming further and further away as I was hustled out of the area by hotel security.  The next morning I could walk around the pool and offer apologies and shame to the people I offended.  That would have been nice.

Instead I am here in Ohio.  That means I will be watching the Ohio State game.  I don’t think it will be possible to be in any public gathering and not have the game front and center.  The only possible exceptions are those annoying hipster dudes that call events like that “sportsball” just to remind you how ironic and above communal events they are and always have been.  When I see a guy in a knit cap indoors that makes a show of not caring who covers a national championship game, I see a guy that needed a father and more masculine peers.  You can listen to Elliot Smith records in your squalid apartment, but you sure can’t bet on them.  Get in the game kid.  And take that fucking cap off.

I am on Ohio State -1.5 tonight.  Ohio State is essentially a pro football team of men that gets to play kids that are playing their last bit of football before becoming gym teachers.  The Ohio State guys are getting ready to play in the NFL, have intercourse with lots of skanky nightclub chicks, and blow their money within five years on tricked out SUVs, poorly thought out real estate deals, and very colorful suits.  It’s not really fair to the other teams they play.  Ohio State is loaded with NFL talent.  Clemson has “some” NFL talent.  That makes a difference.  Also, let’s not pretend that Clemson played as tough a group of teams as Ohio State.  The Big 10 is really good.  What’s Clemson in now?  The Ivy League?  They get to play those sorta crappy Atlantic Coast teams.  Ohio State is in essence a bad NFL team.  It’s a real step up in quality for Clemson.  Ohio State wins this game unless this insane 25 day layoff screws them up.  I’m aggressively on the Buckeyes. 

I hope you have a “pretty good” night tonight.  It won’t be The Best Ever, but that’s OK.  Shoot for “good” and see what happens.  Stay away from whiskey, vodka, pot… In that order.  Here's to a better than anticipated 2017.

Season Record:  28-12 


At December 31, 2016 at 6:34:00 PM EST , Blogger old man taylor said...

sportsball is coming from some of the hippie set as well
but frisbee golf is OK.

At January 1, 2017 at 8:00:00 AM EST , Blogger Frank said...

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

At January 1, 2017 at 11:11:00 AM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

One day we will have peace when the hippies and hipsters finally learn they aren't that different after all...

At January 1, 2017 at 12:18:00 PM EST , Blogger Mike Scott said...

Did NOT see that Clemson train a comin'. Happy New Year, Greg.

At January 1, 2017 at 2:44:00 PM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

What a disaster.


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