Monday, August 7, 2017

Nurse the Hate: Job Offer

Hi Greg,
I have an opening for a Assembly / Warehouse with The Hen House in Norwalk, OH that I thought may interest you. If you'd like to proceed or learn more about this opportunity please follow the link below:
Assembly / Warehouse
The Hen House
  • The Hen House located in Norwalk, Ohio is looking to fill an assembly/warehouse position.
  • This is primarily an assembly position with warehouse activity.
  • Duties may include assemble framing pieces, Christmas tree assembly, check in arriving purchase orders, move inventory to work zones and between buildings, light maintenance in and around building, and loading and unloading shipments.
  • Applicants must have prior tow motor and standard shift truck experience.
  • Must be able to use a screw gun, drill, staple and pneumatic staplers.
Thanks for taking your time with this. If you feel this would be a better fit for someone you know please pass this message along.

Johnson Jobs
15133 Kercheval Ave
Grosse Pointe Park, MI 48230


Hi JJ,

I received your email about the position in assembly at The Hen House with great interest.  You clearly have a great idea of what I bring to the table for a potential employer and have really struck a bullseye with this exciting opportunity.  Despite having more than two decades of experience as a marketing expert and winning a great number of sales awards in broadcast media/professional sports sponsorship sales, I will admit a certain interest in turning my back on this lucrative position and taking my place amongst those assembling and shipping Christmas decorations.  A few quick questions:

* As the job entails assembling Christmas Trees, is there an expectation of wearing holiday clothing like an Elf costume?  If so, would this be provided by the company or would I be expected to create my own?  I will be up front with you and admit I have limited experience in wearing boots with curved toes popular with elves such as I have seen on the landmark holiday special "Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer".

*  Is there holiday music piped in, or will I be expected to sing carols in the manner of the gregarious and hard working elves on the aforementioned "Rudolf" documentary?

*  I have limited experience with screw guns, drills, and pneumatic staplers.  Is there a kindly older man there that would take me under his wing and demonstrate these tools while perhaps demonstrating "the true spirit of Christmas"?

*  I DO have tow motor experience but it ended in disaster as I plowed the tow motor into a palate of eggs and dairy in the back storage area of a Columbus area Kroger in 1986.  That was the last opportunity I had to run a tow motor as the store manager, Herman Manus, instructed the other more seasoned employees to "not let that dipshit near the tow motor again".  I feel like I could learn from that misfortune and become adept at the tow motor in the future though.  I just need the chance.

Holiday Regards,

Greg Miller


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