Nurse the Hate: The Trouble with Math and NFL Week 13

The outgoing President of the United States continues to contend he did not lose the election, an election he lost by 7 million votes.  The GOP Congress refuses to say Biden won the election, but also won't come out and say that Trump won either.  That is a tricky tightrope to walk as math tends to be very black and white.  I can't figure out if Trump thinks he can pull off the worst planned coup of all time, or if he is so delusional that he actually believes he won the election.  Trump's niece contends that Donald can make himself believe anything as long as he emerges as either the victim or the winner, but once again math makes the self delusion in this case VERY difficult.  It's like if the 49ers refused to concede that they lost last year's Super Bowl to Kansas City.  

Kyle Shanahan could have done a post game press conference where he rambled on and held up charts.  "As you can see here, at the end of the third quarter we were leading 20-10.  How is it possible that we lost 31-20?  Many people are saying that we won this game, many good people.  People are saying that the scoreboard was manipulated by a dead Venezuelan President and hackers from Ukraine.  We had a big victory parade planned... huge... bigger than anyone has ever seen...  This was rigged.  We won the Super Bowl."

After Shanahan refused to concede, the rest of the NFC refuses to recognize the Chiefs as having won the title, but also don't come out and say that SF won either worried that Shanahan will send out a mean tweet about them if they say the wrong thing.  Jerry Jones gets a microphone in his face on his way out of a plastic surgery appointment.  "Well, that was a close game and we will need to review the tape again before we give that trophy to anyone.  The League will need to review it very carefully.  There is a process and the 49ers have every right to ask for this process.  We will see what happens.  We look forward to congratulating whoever it was that won that Super Bowl."  Meanwhile Patrick Mahomes is holding the trophy above his head.

Rudy Giuliani finds a bunch of kooks and hauls them out onto ESPN.  There's a guy that watched the game at home and remembers San Francisco being up 34-31 at the end of the game, but admits he might be confusing it with a Seahawks game he went to three years ago with his brother.  A woman starts yelling at all the ESPN anchors and contends "there was cheating" but can't name anything specifically.  A man says that he was in the scoreboard operator's room and saw the operator adding points to the Chiefs total but it turns out he was in jail for child molestation during the game.  Rudy farts on Sage Steele.  A third of Americans believe that the 49ers are rightfully Super Bowl champs.  

This is an odd time.  Truth doesn't have any place in our day-to-day world any longer.  It doesn't even seem that odd that a giant slice of the country is walking around convinced that Trump won an election he decisively lost by 7 million (with an "m") votes.  In fact, it was the only predictable outcome.  There are people in all of our communities that are living in an alternate reality convinced that YOU are the crazy one.  I wonder if OAN has a sports page.  If they do, the Broncos probably beat the Saints last week when Trump came in to toss five touchdowns.

That's the great thing about the NFL.  It's one of the only things that is a certainty.  The whole country might have covid, but we are lacing them up every Sunday.  God bless America.  It really is one of my last few pleasures in this pandemic nightmare of boredom and anxiety fueled fatigue.  I know that every Sunday the Jets are going to lose, the Chiefs are going to win, and the Chargers will blow a game they should have won.  It's my rock.  Yet, with covid as a new variable, the almost impossible task of picking 55% winners in the NFL has gotten much more difficult.  Still, there are winners to be had.

Let's talk Lions.  I have had a "don't bet the Lions" policy after I saw them stink up the joint against the Packers in September.  This is a solid piece of advice, like "don't touch a hot stove" or "don't lend Leo your car" that most adults just instinctively know to be true.  Before he died, Jimmy the Greek said "No one ever got rich betting the Lions".  It's true.  Look it up.  

The Lions this week fired coach Matt Patricia.  This was a good move as he appeared to be terrible at coaching football.  The players all hated him.  He was one of those guys that because he worked for the Patriots swaggered around like he was Bill Belichick.  That's like current Rolling Stones bass player Darryl Jones walking around being an asshole taking credit for writing "Sympathy For The Devil".  Lions receiver Kenny Golliday "liked" the firing announcement the team made online.  That's not a great sign.

The Lions have placed the Offensive Coordinator in as temporary coach.  No one considers him to be a serious candidate for the coaching gig.  This week the Lions face the fading Bears, and I have to think they are going to be playing loose as a goose.  An OC that gets the reins is going to pull out every trick play, wide open bullshit offense thing he can find to prove he should get consideration as the head coach and resulting windfall of cash.  I see plenty of scoring, even from the shitty Bears offense.  Give me Lions/Bears OVER 45 as I can't bring myself to bet on the Lions themselves.

Interesting stat I heard.  In the last 4 games, teams are blitzing Arizona/Kyle Murray 42% of all snaps, up from 18% from all previous games.  During that span, the Cards are down 12 points a game in scoring and 125 yards in offense.  They are also 1-3 and should be 0-4 except for that Hail Mary against Buffalo.  It's what Pete Carroll did, and it's what Bill Belichick did.  It seems the NFL has figured out how to stop Murray.  I bet Boy Genius noticed too.  Now the Cards get Aaron Donald and the Rams great defense upfront.  Oh yeah, Murray has a hurt shoulder and is less likely than ever to run.  I'd like the Rams -2.5 please.  

Season Record:  18-17-1