Nurse the Hate: Hate Yankee Playoff Broadcasts

It can be very taxing watching a national television broadcast featuring the Yankees, can’t it? I am well aware that the Yankees receive three to four times as much exposure during the year, but you would think that the coverage during the playoff games themselves would go 50/50. Not so…Example? Last night the Indians were up 3-0, and Robinson Cano got a flare single to right. The play by play guy drops his voice an octave and proclaims “Here comes the Yankees!”. Every two seconds there’s a shot of Jeter or A Rod on the bench, or Torre (looking like he’s making plans for a two week getaway to Boca Raton and not too concerned about the game itself). Isn’t it time for the broadcast crew to go all the way? Let their love really flow…

“Here comes Hideki Matsui…Godzilla himself stepping to the plate. Wow…Look at the size of the cock on that guy. It must be a foot if it’s an inch. I don’t see ANYONE on the Indians who could possibly have a cock quite that large.” Then Tony Gwynn might try to get in there with his squeaky little voice, “Well, I don’t know…They call Travis Hafner “Pronk” for a reason…”. Tony then is immediately shouted down. “Look up and down that dugout. What a collection of men with gigantic phallus. It’s truly amazing! I‘ll bet Jorge Posada’s cock is the size of a baby’s arm. There is no way the Indians with their little penises can possibly play to the level of those true men.”

Win or lose tonight (I’m watching game 4 as I write this), the Yankees still do not have enough to win this thing. They have two legitimate starters, and two trustworthy arms in the pen. That’s not going to get by Cleveland, and it’s not going to get by Boston if they somehow get by the Tribe. They are too old, don’t have enough speed, and are the same team Detroit rolled last year. Enough already…

Random Notes: My favorite part of the NFL is that week to week teams are either horrible, or a dynasty. Every week is life or death. Two weeks ago the surprising Lions were a hot team on the rise. This week they get killed by Washington, and now they are going to be lucky to be 7-9, and Kitna needs to be replaced immediately. It’s great!…As I feared, I was thrust into the heart of darkness (i.e. Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo tourist trap). On Saturday, they were going to have an “all star” concert featuring Sammy, Michael Anthony (Van Halen bass player), some guy I never heard of, and Tommy Lee on drums. People were very excited about it, and were going to line up for tickets the day before. Now I ask you, if you were to walk into a room (for free) and see these guys playing, would you stay? I can’t imagine how it could be good. Sammy goofing around in his overgrown frat boy way….Tommy Lee asking girls to “show him their tits”…none of them knowing the songs all that well because they are “jamming”. It’s too horrible to even think about. By the way, you can buy a $25 t shirt from there if you want….Did I, or did I not, tell you to get on the Diamondbacks to win the National League at 8-1? Even if you were on the Angels, you’d be sitting VERY pretty right now…I wouldn’t ordain the Patriots Super Bowl champs just yet. I really like the look of Indy and Pittsburgh. The NFC is a joke...Samuel Peter is in no way a legitimate heavyweight contender...I just spent 5 days drinking Corono out of a keg. If I don't get an IPA in me, I'm going to fucking lose it.