Friday, November 16, 2012

Nurse The Hate: Dare To Dream

I woke up out of sorts after some unsettling dreams.  It’s an odd thing about dreams.  You can go to sleep with your mind in one place, and then without warning you are walking in a field of daisies having a conversation with someone and their deceased mother.  It’s so real.  Then you wake up, turn on the television and see that the Florida Marlins have traded every legit ballplayer they had except Giancarlo Stanton, and you really have to question reality.  What is reality?  Has the world gone mad?

I always knew that Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria was a cheap hustler.  First of all, can you trust someone that goes by Jeffrey instead of Jeff?  Jeffrey is the name of an interior decorator, video artist, or sissy boy in knickers.  In this case, Jeffrey is the kind of guy that bullshits a city into building a $650 million dollar stadium by telling them he’s bringing in players, and then bails out as soon as he gets his side of the deal. 

The way the new stadium deal in Miami was supposed to work was like this:  The City of Miami would pony up an unreal amount of money to build a new baseball stadium.  The team had been largely unpopular because of two reasons.  1) The Marlins would dump all their good players instead of paying them; hence the fans hated the team.  2) It’s Southern Florida and there are about 700 better things to do than go see a crappy baseball team play.  Jeffrey Loria and his little weasel stepson David Samson convinced the city on the Field of Dreams gambit.  Build it and they will come.

The City had some reservations.  “Well, if we just go and build you a giant $650 Million dollar stadium to drive your revenues, how can we be sure you won’t just dump payroll anyway and keep all the money?”  I think the Loria’s response was along the lines of “Oh, don’t worry.  We won’t.”  That apparently was enough for the City of Miami to, according to my calculations, give the Loria Braintrust enough money to feed, clothe, and house everyone in South Florida.  Oh, that’s right.  They didn’t spend the money on that.  They built an eyesore of a baseball stadium that no one will go to instead.  Good plan Miami!

Why the people of Miami have not pulled this man naked and screaming from his home I don’t know.  It’s time for torches and pitchforks.  He stole all of your money.  He betrayed your trust.  To top it all off, he doesn’t feel bad about it in the least.  In fact, he’s pissed you are even questioning him.  You catch that quote he had at the owners meetings? “Not today boys.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not going to figure it out for you.”  How did someone from Miami not punch him in the face?  He’s soft.  He’s not ready for the physical violence he so richly deserves.

If I am a resident of Miami, I am demanding that the city take over ownership of the team.  You paid for it, it should be yours.  Eminent Domain.  Get those city lawyers to dream up some crazy nonsense.  I would also recommend that on Opening Day you march that little shit Samson out to centerfield and rip his teeth out with pliers.  Put it on the Jumbotron to serve as a lesson for all.  Zoom in on the crying.  We’ll all like that. 

Miami, it’s up to you.  That’s the thing about dreams.  Dreams can come true.  


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