Sunday, March 30, 2014

Nurse the Hate: Hate Kentucky

What could be better than waiting around for the snow to melt on the last weekend in March?  I seem to recall a time when I routinely walked outside and didn't have to prepare as if I was leaving an igloo and about to battle polar bears.  It seems so long ago when I wore shoes that were not constructed primarily of rubber.  I do have evidence that such a time existed as my closet is filled with lighter weight clothes I apparently no longer need.  I just can't remember when it was that I wore them...  Are Jams shorts still in style?

That leaves me trapped in the house left with nothing else to do but gamble wildly and listen to my new Dex Romweber and Sham 69 records.  I am aware that this is almost rock bottom, but I'm not there yet.  Not as long as I can take Michigan +2.5 over Kentucky.  I won with a couple of underdogs yesterday (Dayton +10.5 and Wisconsin +2) and really feel pretty good about this game.  I really didn't have to think about it, and instead let my mind wander to the possibilities of re-arranging "Action Time Vision" as a 60s pop song.  You see, what makes me so carefree is that The Public has jumped so far onto the Kentucky bandwagon, there is no other possibility except a Michigan victory today.

Every national media outlet I saw over the last two days has been loudly proclaiming "Kentucky Is Back!".  I honestly had no idea who they were even playing until this morning when I specifically looked.  The Sports Press has already penciled in their beloved Wildcats into the Final Four, not really remembering that Michigan is a legit basketball team.  At this point the train has left the station and everyone is on board.  WooHoo!

This seems like one of those classic games that make Las Vegas casinos say "Fuck, let's do a .99 cent shrimp cocktail.  We can afford it as long as we get enough Rubes in here to bet that Kentucky game. Maybe they'll stay and play some slots too!"  It's why there are gigantic lakes in the desert.  It's why they build rollercoasters on top of twenty story hotels.  It's why they put a light on top of a faux Egyptian pyramid that you can see from outer space.  Every dipshit in the United States is going to be all over Kentucky today.  I urge you to get on the other side of that line.


At March 31, 2014 at 10:29:00 AM EDT , Blogger Greg Miller said...

Wow, did that last second three pointer hurt...

At April 11, 2014 at 1:49:00 AM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

Been there.


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