Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Nurse the Hate: Still Hating Manziel?



By this time I think it is quite evident that I am a huge Johnny Manziel fan.  This is not because of his prowess on the football field.  No, I am all in on Johnny Football because he seems to know that right now, in this moment, he can do whatever he wants and no one can stop him.  For example, after he was shown on the web talking into a giant stack of money pretending it was a phone (“I can’t hear you!  I have too much fucking money in my hand!”), he was told by Cleveland Browns PR staffers to maybe bring down the obnoxious behavior.  He then immediately goes out the next weekend and has his picture taken while slugging down booze while floating on an inflatable swan.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

The very next Monday night (Monday!), Manziel goes to a party at Justin Bieber’s house and has this amazing photo taken and posted.  This is an incredible picture for a number of reasons.  First, I love the fact that Manziel decided to have his picture taken with Bieber and Mayweather, two of the douchiest guys on the planet.  It is reasonable to assume that Johnny Manziel has probably spent as much time at Browns HQ being talked to by concerned members of the front office as he has spent on the actual football field.  Then, despite meeting after meeting discussing his behavior and public perception, he then decides to be photographed next to the very symbol of poor young male decision making and someone washing his career down the toilet.  Seriously, is there someone worse to be associated with than Justin Bieber right now?  He would have been better off in a photo with Vladamir Putin, Chris Brown, and Lindsey Lohan.  How about Kim Jong-un, Gary Busey, and that guy in South Africa with no legs that shot his girlfriend?  It’s almost like he said “Fuck you” to the Browns PR staff right before this picture.

I do not believe that John W. Football is a stupid guy.  I think he knows exactly what he’s doing.  He knows he can ignore everyone at Cleveland Browns HQ and get away with it.  Well, right now he can…  What he doesn’t realize is that the people in Cleveland will put up with a lot of things, but hanging out with a douchebag like Justin Bieber isn’t one of them.  Moneyphone and swan?  No problem.  Asshole kid that makes shitty music and has a sense of entitlement like Bieber?  Booooooo!  If Manziel is hanging out with Motorhead doing drugs with Lemmy, it’s all good.  Hey, what the fuck, it’s Lemmy.  Meanwhile if he even crosses the street with Justin Bieber, even I am thinking, “If he thinks Justin Bieber is cool, doesn’t that make him a little weasel too?”.  Dudes that work in the Cuyahoga County Sewer Dept don’t want their starting QB hanging out with a little punk like Justin Bieber. 

Models/Casinos/Public Drunkeness= Good. 

Justin Bieber/any Kardashian/hot yoga= Bad

I would like to point out that with that one picture his leash with the pubic just got shorter.  The first time he tosses an errant pass in a game, I am looking down at my watch to time how long a comment like “Maybe if you weren’t so busy sucking Justin Bieber’s dick you would have known how to throw a fucking screen pass Manziel ya fucking fuck!” is made by a fan in the Dawg Pound.  These season ticket holder guys will put up with a team that can’t win, horrible drafts, terrible coaching, bad weather, and no hope of a future.  They will not put up with a Justin Bieber association though. 

I still feel very confident that Manziel will flame out in spectacular fashion.  The whole spectacle will hopefully make the San Diego Chargers Ryan Leaf debacle seem charming by comparison.  I love the idea that Manziel feels like he’ll just pop in on Sundays to play, and it will all go just peachy.  Right now Peyton Manning is tossing passes to receivers in the hot sun, Tom Brady is lifting weights, and Drew Brees is studying film, while Johnny Manziel is floating around wasted in a rubber swan.  I can’t figure out if he thinks he will just show up and win because that’s what he’s always done in the past, or he just doesn’t care at all.  Either way, it’s absolutely awesome.  I love the guy for pure entertainment value.  Still, I’m having trouble with this Bieber thing…     

4 Comments:

At July 8, 2014 at 11:24:00 PM EDT , Blogger dbowling said...

Tick, Tick, Tick. That's the clock counting down on John Manziel's graciously awarded 15 minutes of fame. And, when we look back in time, we'll realize that's all Bieber really had. In fact, If there is a non-gender douchebag measurement tool, I got Bieber sucking the juice out of the bottom. As an ex-Clevlander, I do feel sorry for my friends who are die hard Browns fans. You do not deserve this. Why does Johnny Snowball remind me of Jeff Garcia?

 
At July 8, 2014 at 11:26:00 PM EDT , Blogger dbowling said...

Tick, Tick, Tick. That's the clock counting down on John Manziel's graciously awarded 15 minutes of fame. And, when we look back in time, we'll realize that's all Bieber really had. In fact, If there is a non-gender douchebag measurement tool, I got Bieber sucking the juice out of the bottom. As an ex-Clevlander, I do feel sorry for my friends who are die hard Browns fans. You do not deserve this. Why does Johnny Snowball remind me of Jeff Garcia?

 
At July 10, 2014 at 10:14:00 AM EDT , Blogger Greg Miller said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At July 25, 2014 at 6:24:00 PM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/24637209/report-browns-stunned-by-johnny-manziels-non-stop-partying

Seen today.

 

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