Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Nurse the Hate: Hate The Bullshit Blizzard




I woke up this morning with the full expectation of seeing bodies stacked in New York, all hope lost, and a population reduced to cannibalism.  For a full 48 hours the media bludgeoned me with a non-stop barrage of breathless headlines.  The Biggest Blizzard In NYC History.  Record Snowfalls.  Two to Three Feet.  Complete closures of all forms of transportation just to try and minimalize death and mayhem.  Once the proverbial snowball started rolling, there was no stopping it.  The unquenchable thirst of the never ending news cycle made coverage take on increasingly hysterical tones and the overreaction of the population matched the rhetoric.  I especially enjoyed seeing footage of elderly women fighting over cans of soup at a New York grocery store yesterday afternoon.

This morning brought the realization that six to eight inches fell in New York.  Six to eight inches?  What the fuck…  A decent snowfall to be sure, but this certainly did not justify the closure of all roadways, subways, and airports.  The media then spent the morning reporting on lost revenue for the region due to all the closures (which they helped create in the first place) and took on the tone of “Phew!  What a close call!”.  This eerily matched the failure of last year’s “Snowmageddon” to transpire.  They used the same playbook last year as well, portraying all the residents they had terrified the previous day as being “lucky”.  Once again the boy has cried “wolf” and we have all taken the bait.

I don’t know how any of those assholes that spent yesterday warning NYC about impending doom can stand in front of a camera and pretend to offer any expertise.  What most of the population does not realize is that the vast majority of these people whipping the population into frenzy are C-students from broadcast schools, a curriculum about as challenging as cosmetology school.  To put it bluntly, the analysis of world events and current  dangers are being filtered for you by people that are as qualified to sort this information as “Krystal” the single mother chain smoking serial bad decision girl in tight pants that cuts your hair.  I mean, sure, there’s a few people that have some smarts, but how can anyone digesting this media be expected to know who knows something and who won a State Fair Beauty Contest and can read a teleprompter? 

Now the storm is going to hit New England.  The coverage will take on a much less hysterical tone as New England is used to getting hit crappy weather, but more importantly as all media is centered in New York, the media outlets won’t care as much.  For example, if NE Ohio gets six to eight inches of snow it would not even garner more than a “…and snowfall across Ohio…” brief mention.  When this same weather hits New York, it becomes a Category One Emergency.  “Don’t you understand?  This is happening to US!  IT’S REAL NOW!”. 

Most people that live in New York, or “The City” as it is commonly called, are under the impression that it is the only place on the planet with value.  They are positive of this as they spend 100% of their time in their local 10-12 block area and assure each other consistently how much vastly superior they are to “Flyover Country”.   While most of them live a lifestyle akin to an Urban Serf, laboring consistently to pay inflated rent for shithole apartments to allow them to theoretically attend unique cultural events that they won’t actually attend because they can’t afford it, they will all smugly let you know that they live in The City.  You are but a small furry animal.  They have evolved well beyond you.   

As I trudged around outside in the snow with the hounds and 10 degree temperatures, I thought of The City.  I thought, “what a bunch of pussies”.  I hope they had their hard fought cans of soup and are snuggled up in their roach infested shithole apartments and are watching CNN show their clear empty streets while the rest of us slide our way to our jobs like normal.  In theory we should line up some of these “journalists” that created this national slowdown and create a real media event, but public executions are so Spanish Inquisition and “out” this year. 

I’ll tell you this about the next “White Death Monster Fuck Storm”.  I will believe it when I see it.

1 Comments:

At January 29, 2015 at 11:35:00 PM EST , Blogger old man taylor said...

the late night news coverage was amazing.by midnight they were showing footage of other blizzards and still railing on and on of the impending danger.
the best thing was when a young incredibly concerned Msnbc reporter on the streets was talking to a city worker sitting in a plow truck.
she asked him inane questions about the amount of preparations they had done.he'd been there since 5 o clock. she finally says when is the storm going to hit.
he says "oh its gonna hit around midnight"
it was around 2:30 a.m.

 

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