Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Nurse the Hate: Timberwolves Viewing Party

 I have no clue as to how I received an invitation to a Minnesota Timberwolves viewing party at a Howl at the Moon location in Minneapolis MN.  I haven't been to Minneapolis since playing a show at the 7th Street Entry in the early 1990s.  I have never attended or watched the Minnesota Timberwolves in person or on TV.  I have never even clicked on their team website by mistake.  It's exciting to be included.  I really appreciate it.  I think I am going to go.  There was some confusion at first.  See below...


From: Greg Miller [mailto:donotreply@eventbrite.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 22, 2015 1:32 PM
To: Timberwolves FansFirst <FansFirst@timberwolves.com>
Subject: Minnesota Timberwolves Howl at the Moon Viewing Party - Question from Greg Miller

Greg Miller has a question for you about your event Minnesota Timberwolves Howl at the Moon Viewing Party.

I was just invited to your viewing party, and was surprised to see it is sold out via event brite. I had planned on attending this event with a co-worker, and now we are unsure if we will be able to attend and cheer the T-Wolves onto inevitable victory over those sack of shit Lakers. Please advise.


This message was sent to you via Eventbrite.

From: Timberwolves FansFirst [mailto:FansFirst@timberwolves.com]
Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2015 10:04 AM
To: Miller, Greg
Subject: RE: Minnesota Timberwolves Howl at the Moon Viewing Party - Question from Greg Miller

Hey Greg,

The viewing party is open to the public and it will be a first come, first serve basis until they reach capacity of about 300 people. I would suggest getting there early as it will be a packed house!

Go Wolves!

From: Miller, Greg
Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2015 10:26 AM
To: 'Timberwolves FansFirst'
Subject: RE: Minnesota Timberwolves Howl at the Moon Viewing Party - Question from Greg Miller

You’re not kidding about the Go Wolves thing!  This is our year.  We are done fucking around here in the Twin Cities.  We are going to pound those sack of shit Lakers into a fecal mulch.  By the time we finish with them our fans will regard Kobe Bryant as a mere shadow of his former self.  He will be so disheartened he will quit basketball and sell home improvement products to elderly housewives that have no idea he was once a professional athlete.  “Hello ma’am.  My name is Kobe.  Can I ask you if you are interested in saving 22% in your home heating costs with new windows?”.  Get bent you hack.  And get out of my living room.

I am currently applying complete body paint to myself.  I plan on attending this event early.  Please note I am so excited about the season starting I might become so intoxicated I lose control of my bowels.   I would suggest alerting the hospitality staff to keep a wet mop nearby.

Go Wolves.


At November 1, 2015 at 11:42:00 PM EST , Blogger AZ said...

This is beyond good.


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