Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Nurse the Hate: Cavs Win

I am still in disbelief that the Cavs won the championship.  Not because the Cavs were incapable of winning the championship.  In fact, the Cavs were built specifically to bully other teams with their stacked deck of a squad.  They were supposed to win, and probably would have won last year if Irving/Love hadn't been injured.  Still, I didn't expect it.  The bad Cleveland Mojo that always rains down from above should have created some disastrous finish that was unpredictable yet totally believable once it had a chance to settle on our collective consciousness.  LeBron should have broken his wrist on that last offensive possession and then missed the free throws.  Draymond Green should have been fouled by JR Smith with a baseball bat on a last shot resulting in a little used rule being enforced of seven free throws.  So much should have gone wrong.  But this time it didn't.

It still is odd to have a team from my town win.  It has literally never happened in my life.  I wasn't even sure what to do once they won.  How does one act when their favorite team isn't embarrassed on the national stage?  I don't know.  I've never been here before, so I just hugged some strangers while jumping up and down.  I gave some awkward high fives too.  Normally I'm looking at the guys on the bench with the towels over their heads while the announcers say things like "You just have to feel for the City of Cleveland and their fans...  117 years without a championship and this time it was so very close only to slip away at the last moment in agonizing fashion."  Then it shows a wide shot of a bunch of Cleveland fans trudging out of an arena looking fat and sad. But not this time.

Now 800,000 people are expected downtown for a Cavs Victory Parade.  LeBron James has fulfilled what can only be called His Destiny and won a championship for the city.  I fully expect to see grown men weeping in front of their children without shame as the parade passes by on the streets of Cleveland.  It took 12 men tossing a ball in a hoop slightly better than 12 other men trying to toss that same ball in a hoop to bring this region together, just in time for the RNC to swing by with a healthy dose of hate and violence in a few weeks and tear it back apart.  However tomorrow is our day.

I will admit that I am a feeling a tinge of regret that I was caught up in the heat of the moment and agreed, like the rest of the region, to give a full 15% of my wages over the next decade to build a 500 foot tall gold statue of LeBron.  However, I think that in time we won't miss the Lakefront Airport where the massive statue is to be housed.  I also think that the addition of giant windmills in LeBron's outstretched arms will not only be tastefully done, but also provide much of our electrical power in the coming Age of Darkness.  They say you will be able to see it across the Lake in Canada.  What a sight it will be!  And tho the Lord might strike us down for our worship of False Gods (for he is a vengeful and just Lord), He can never take away this championship. 

Cleveland wins.  At last.


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