The Jungle Gym and NFL Week 6

 

I was thinking the other day about the playground we had at school when I was in fourth grade.  There was a merry-go-round thing, a metal disc which spun with steel bars to hold onto as kids pushed it faster and faster.  If you spun off, you'd land on the safety of fresh blacktop asphalt as if you'd laid down a Harley at 55 mph.  We had a swing set which thankfully had wood chips underneath it, but was for some reason set up about three feet from that blacktop, which meant kids would routinely leap from the swings and fly off onto the pavement like they had been thrown from a Mustang convertible.  The crown jewel of the playground was a jungle gym, which was a half circle dome that seemed to be about 20 feet tall, but I'm guessing was still 10 feet.  I was nine years old, and I was scared shitless to climb up onto the top of it, a spot which routinely had the 3 or 4 daredevil kids holding court resplendent in the glory of laughing in the face of death.  

Why no adult thought it was an awful idea to build this thing and anchor it onto blacktop still blows my mind.  I mean, I was a kid and I was thinking "Who the fuck green lit this thing?".  I don't think 9 year olds are supposed to be thinking about insurance liabilities when looking at something that was assembled allegedly for fun, but that's the way it was.  Besides the tetherball area and foursquare scene, the only other point of interest was this ceramic fort that looked like Swiss Cheese, so we all called it "The Cheese".  Nobody went into The Cheese after an older teenage kid took a shit in it (believed to Ricky Shildnick, but unproven), so that was a no-fly zone.  

There was a kid named David that decided that his way to move up the social ladder was to climb the jungle gym peak.  Seriously, there were only four kids that routinely went up there because it was so fucking dangerous, but David for whatever reason thought this was his key to social status at Manchester Elementary.  There were two girls that always climbed it, so I think he was trying to impress them.  One became some sort of teenage gymnastics savant that later fucked her adult coach, which seemed to go well for all parties involved until her mother found out and then she recanted and the coach was sent off in disgrace.  (Men didn't go to prison for fucking 14 year olds then either due to societal norms or Pennsylvania state law, either reason being rather chilling).  The other girl became a helluva softball player, a "tomboy" in parlance of the times, which I think now we would easily identify as a lesbian who predictably was not impressed in the way David had hoped she would be upon his ascent on the jungle gym.  

Anyway, David discussed his plan one morning as we colored maps or whatever bullshit they had us doing, and it became quite a topic in Grade 4 as the news spread like wild fire.  I gotta hand it to him.  After lunch we had recess, and he went up to the top with a grim dedication I would rarely see later from adult men.  He knew he was pushing the envelope, but for whatever reason, he was going to see it through.  He made it.  But then, he fell.  When he fell head first onto the concrete, there was a certain grace to it.  His profile made a tragic image, like Icarus falling from the sun towards the earth.  I will always remember the dull thud sound his head made as it broke his fall.  I don't think many 9 year olds have seen that much blood.  It was a hell of a thing.  

That's just the way these things go sometimes.  Despite the best of intentions and planning, things just go south.  That's kind of what I see happening this week for a couple NFL teams.  There is a crazy trend that is hitting at 78% of backing teams that have been getting their ass kicked, only covering less than 20%, and then playing a winning team when they are 6+ points underdog.  The two teams that fit this bill are absolutely terrifying to back.  As I have always said, any bet that makes you immediately think "this is a huge mistake, I'm can't win this" is a great bet.  Do I want to be sitting on New England +7 and Carolina +6?  Of course not.  That's why they are rock solid bets!  

New England cannot score, is starting a rookie QB that will probably be out of football in 2 years, and generally is "bad at football".  However, Houston is not the monster team some thought they'd be and they have cluster injuries at WR.  This seems like a perfect letdown spot for Houston.  I'll take the points for New England +7 and hope they can do something on offense.  Carolina is really shitty, but Atlanta is horribly overrated.  3-2 Atlanta inched by Tampa and New Orleans these last two weeks, two average teams at best.  They lost to KC/Pitt and should have lost to Philly.  How are they laying 6 points to anyone on the road?  Carolina is 1-4 vs the spread.  There is no reason to think they cover this, but I'm thinking that they hang around at home in this one.  Carolina +6. 

October 22, 2023 is the last time the Eagles would have covered 8.5 points.  Look, the Browns are terrible because Deshaun Watson is like a Biblical plague that has nestled onto the franchise.  I don't see how he can lead the team to win this game.  I will tell you what though.  The Eagles aren't too good.  I am going to tease the Browns up to 14.5 and take the NY Giants +9.5 vs the Cincinnati Bengals.  This HAS TO BE a letdown spot for Cincinnati.  Look at their schedule...  They lose to Baltimore last week in a gut wrenching OT loss.  They keep scoring and can't win.  The Giants?  They might not be as bad as we think.  I think they might be an average football team.  I think the game vs Cincy can go either way.  Cleveland +14.4/Giants +9.5.

Current Record:  8-6