Monday, August 16, 2010

Nurse the Hate: Hate the Jets

Maybe I'm just not catching the fever, but I am not buying into The J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! as Super Bowl champs. One of the cool/mindblowing things about the NFL is the unbelievably short memory the public has about last season. Everyone remembers the suddenly "invincible" Jet defense in the Playoffs, and the pair of Playoff wins. Everyone is abuzz about the Revis holdout, a cornerback that went from obscure player on a .500 team to the best player to lace up cleats since Jim Fucking Thorpe in about 6 weeks. Yes, Mark Sanchez sure looks like a quarterback for a NY team. Can he play? Maybe... Hell, they even signed free agents that somehow slipped through the fingers of Fantasy Football GM Dan Snyder of the Redskins in out-of-tire-tread LaDanian Tomlinson, overrated-Charger-outcast-cb Cromarte, past-his-prime Jason Taylor, and soon-to-be-arrested-for-something-stupid Santonio Holmes at WR.

The Jets are not going to win the Super Bowl. Hell, they probably won't even win the AFC East. This may seem to be completely impossible based on HBO's "Hard Knocks", the constant ESPN coverage (when they take a break from Favre updates), and national sports talk. However, let me present to you this, the most ironclad argument possible against a Jet championship.

1) The Jets, while having a couple nice playoff wins against a fast fading Bengals and a legit Charger team, still must be recalled for what they really did in 2009. They went 9-7, and 2-4 in their division. At one point, they lost six out of seven games. This is not an elite team, but a team that got hot at the right time.

2) Vegas is pretty good at predicting upcoming success. The big board in Vegas have the Jets over/under win total at 9.5 games. That's a real compelling under. If every Rube you know thinks the Jets are going all the way, they are going nowhere. Currently Vegas believes 7 teams will win more games than the Jets. They are 12-1 at winning the Super Bowl, and that's with the incredible New York media hype machine churning at full blast. One thing Vegas knows about is NFL Football. I'd take a flier on the Chargers if I were you...

3) That guy in the fireman helmet that screams the "Jets! Jets! Jets!" cheer is almost a sure thing to ice that team. I always worry about guys that are passionate like that. Their dreams never come true. He will be left looking forlorn in his stupid little helmet during a horrible Jet late season loss at home in a crowd reaction shot at about 6:58 pm. Announcer Troy Aikman will say something like, "Well, that's about as tough a loss as you'll ever see." as the tears stream down the face of Fireman helmet guy. Then the network will cut over to 60 Minutes with a quick stop in at the "Subway Scoreboard Wrap Up" and we'll forget all about him. Fire Helmet Guy will make the long walk back to the car, drive home, and beat the dog. Thus the door to the Jet season will be shut. It's like it already happened.

4) As noted in the Whiskey Daredevils song "Jesus Walks Beside Me", The Jets never cover the spread.


At August 17, 2010 at 7:30:00 AM EDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At August 17, 2010 at 1:55:00 PM EDT , Blogger ScottyJ said...

The Jets never cover the it!!

At August 17, 2010 at 5:12:00 PM EDT , Blogger Greg Miller said...

What's with the Chinese comments?


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