Nurse the Hate: Hate the Playoffs

This is my favorite gambling weekend of the year...the NFL Wild Card Playoffs. Each game is televised at the perfect time for maximum drinking and gambling enjoyment. All that money you made on the Bowl Games? Now is when you can lose it all back in a shocking, horrifying run of bad luck and poor planning. Let's get started...

Washington at Seattle -3.5: Any sane person would look at this game for the complete joke that it is. Washington sneaks into the playoffs with a shitty second string QB playing a team with plenty of momentum on their side...at home. The media is going to wave the flag of a team rallying around the terrible death of teammate Sean Taylor. Don't be fooled. That's just a selling point. Washington isn't going to get it done on Saturday. Seattle is 7-1 at home ATS, and 3.5 is nothing in the playoffs. The Seahawks throw the ball well, and Washington stops the run. How can I get this point across? How about this? I think the Seahawks are going to kick the fuck out of Washington. Take Seattle minus the 3 and a half.

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh + 2.5: I am very concerned that the line has moved from pick 'em on the open to giving the Steelers 2.5. If the public is on Jacksonville so strongly, you know I want to go against them. On the other hand, Jacksonville just beat them a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh. Why won't they do it again? Without Willie Parker no less? Quite a situation... My head tells me that Jacksonville is the better team right now. Pittsburgh has looked shaky at best, and Troy Palumalu (did I spell that right?) is playing at 75% at best. He's the key to that defense, much like Bob Sanders/Indy and Mike Brown/Chicago. If I see that line move to 3 or more, I'm taking Pitt. If not, I'm on the Jags. This is the most compelling game of the weekend.

Giants at Tampa -3: I'll be honest with you. I have no idea what is going to happen here. How about this? The Giants go out, exert their will and drop 31 points on Tampa. Brandon Jacobs beats down the front seven, and Eli takes the open receivers when he can to move down the field in small chunks all night long. Tampa scores some points, but can't stop NY and loses 31-27. Sounds good, no? How about this? Tampa clamps down on the Giants and forces Eli to try and win on his own. He throws 4 picks and the NY media has him lassoed by his scrotum and dragged behind the team plane on Sunday after the game. Tampa 17-3. I can buy into either scenario. I'll drop something on Tampa if I win on Saturday. If not, I'm not touching this potential fiasco.

Tennessee at San Diego -9.5: This is the best play on the board. You probably have some dimwit buddy talking about how Tennessee's defense is going to keep it close. No they won't. Don't even give it a second thought. This team doesn't belong here, and they are going to make goddamn fools of themselves starting at 4:15 pm Sunday. After 10 weeks, that retard Norv Turner finally has a game plan together. It's tricky, so see if you can stay with me on this. 1) Give the ball to Tomlinson. 2) Get out of the way. 3) Win. Give the points, and bet this game heavy. Hey, I was right on USC! Why not this?