Monday, April 7, 2008

Nurse the Hate: Hate March Madness? Hate March!

The worst part of the year in Northeast Ohio is February/March. It is truly a grim time to be here. On any given day it can be either a) 14 degrees with an ass biting wind whipping off Lake Erie b) some sort of horrible sideways sleet/rain mixture that crushes your soul or C) a shallow purple/gray sky tinged with a Kafka-esque sense of doom. The seemingly endless string of terrible days lay on top of each other like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.

The real whammy is this terrible malaise the nation (world?) seems to be in right now. The economy is awful. The housing market is down the toilet. The election coverage already has me disillusioned. Popular music might be the most awful it has been since the mid 1970s. Every movie at the theaters seems to be worse than the last. I haven’t found a good book in 60 days. The only sports to bet on that’s televised is either those shitbags from the NBA loafing up and down the court for 3 and a half quarters, or the anticlimactic NCAA Tournament that sent four #1 seeds to the Final Four.

Maybe it’s the hint of Spring in the air, but doesn’t it seem like things are about to change? Even the most brain dead Rube can see that the last eight years of the Bush administration have done nothing but made a few already really rich overfed old white guys even richer (while the rest of us will be left holding the bill for Iraq, Mortgage Collapse, Bank Failures, and $4.00 a gallon gas). It seems like maybe, just maybe, enough people have had enough of The Giant Shit Sandwich we have all been eating to participate in making a change. I’m not talking about some stupid election where the Corporate Puppet Masters have already hedged bets with all the players on the board. I’m talking about a sense of just enough people being sick and tired of the bullshit. Maybe just enough people can do something to make things interesting.

This has to be one of the most embarrassing times in our recent history. Every nation in the world hates us (but India, but that’s just because we outsourced them almost all of our jobs). Meanwhile everyday is a horrible collage of Dancing With the Stars/Brittany beaver shot photos/young men stuck in the desert losing their limbs/forgettable music by “artists” like Ray J and D4L/and speculating if Tom Cruise has that wife of his shackled to a radiator while playing her Scientology videos a la Clockwork Orange.

But perhaps there is hope…American Idol, the nation’s favorite karaoke contest, is slipping in ratings and water cooler buzz. President Bush was aggressively booed throwing out the first pitch (in Washington for God’s sake!). Is the nation finally ready to put Kim Kardashian’s head on a stake and say “Enough!”? I don’t know, but I sure hope so. Something’s got to change around here, and if that’s what it’s going to take get it started, I’m sure her Mom will sell someone the television rights. We’ll get some sponsors and get this thing started.

Quick Notes: I had a rough go of it in the tournament, but have rebounded nicely on baseball going 5-1 early. I am going to bet against Rich Hill of the Cubs and Barry Zito of the Giants until someone proves they can win. Also, I believe that Jake Westbrook of the Indians will offer a nice price for the next couple starts. He had a great second half last year, and a fabulous Spring…Everyday take a look at betting against the Yankees. They always have too high a price due to heavy homer fan betting volume. Even at their best, they’ll only win about 60% of the time. Pick your spots like when Gil Meche of the Royals, Joe Blanton of the As, or McGowan of Toronto is pitching against them. Those are guys that give you a chance to win every time they pitch, and their teams are not well regarded. Depending on who they match up with, they’ll be at +130 to +170. Nice.


At April 9, 2008 at 9:12:00 AM EDT , Blogger Greg Miller said...

It's like I can see into the future as both Westbrook wins (complete game), and the Royals get the win vs the Yankees. Will the Tigers finally get a win today vs Boston? Bonderman is +130 vs Lester...

At April 9, 2008 at 10:47:00 AM EDT , Blogger Ken Miller said...

With one week in the book, I already have enough information to make a few bold predictions:

1) The Yankees aren't going to be very good. After Wang the pitching gets grim and the lineup besides Jeter and A-Rod looks old. Toronto could finish second in this division and snatch the wild card (see #2 below).

2) It'll be a dog fight all year to see which team wants the AL Central crown less - Cleveland or Detroit. Detroit has a major pitching problem and Cleveland will take a step back. 88 wins should clinch this division and hand the wild card back to the East.

3) The White Sox look like they are playing out the string, and it's April 9. These are veteran guys who know they aren't going anywhere this year. They might win 4 games all August once they've truly packed it in.

4) The Mets are clearly concerned, but they should be panicking instead. They are the 4th best team in the NL (behind Atlanta, Philly, and Arizona) and will be lucky to make the playoffs.

At April 9, 2008 at 3:50:00 PM EDT , Blogger ScottyJ said...

The Reds actually have some real, honest-to-goodness pitching this year. Look for the Boys from the Queen City to make a little noise.

Any start by Harang has a chance to earn you a little cabbage, and it looks like the 2 Latin kids, Cueto & Volquez might have some lightning in their arms.

At April 9, 2008 at 5:09:00 PM EDT , Blogger cindy said...

You are so dead fucking on.

At April 10, 2008 at 2:28:00 PM EDT , Blogger Brandonio! said...

As always your blog rants put a smile on my face.
Can't wait to you and the rest of the Whiskey Daredevils in Indy.It's be too damn long buddy.

Rock On!


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home