Nurse the Hate: Hate March Madness

Well, we're in The Shit now. An orgy of gambling is about to grip even the lamest pin dick in your social circle as people feverishly fill out their brackets for their high stakes $5.00 office pool. Oh yes, Steve from accounting will be shitting bricks when that North Carolina v Coppin St game goes off...However, not wanting to miss out on any action, I'm ALL IN on these brackets, but the real action is going to be on side bets. Here's a few I'd take a real good look at...

Texas A&M/BYU UNDER 128.5: This is a matchup of two of the best defensive teams in the NCAA, with both holding opponents to under 40% shooting. On top of that, neither can shoot better than 65% from the free throw line. Now they have to try to shoot on a neutral court in a nationally televised game? Not likely. Love the under...

Oklahoma -1.5 over St Joes: Look, I know this looks crazy. Oklahoma was only 6-12 ATS in conference, and 3-9 ATS in NCAA Tournament openers. Let's all agree they're not going very far in this tournament. Those Midwestern teams fold fast. However, #6 seeds are 14-1 straight up against opposition with winning percentages as low as St Joes. That's a real nice trend, and I'm going with it.

Winthrop +8.5 over Washington State: Every fricken Rube in Vegas will bet against Winthrop because they have never heard of them, while Washington State seems like a legit team. "Hey getta load of this! You ever heard of Winthrop? Only 8.5 points? That's a joke! Let's get on Washington State guys!" Winthrop beat UNC Ashville by 18 pts in their conference tourney, and beat Miami on the road this year. They'll keep it within nine points. Will they win? Who cares? Washington St won't cover!!!

George Mason +6.5 over Notre Dame: The dreaded 12 vs 5 slot rears it's over publicized head here. Here's the most important stat to look at with these games...How well did the team play on the road? Notre Dame was just 7-7 on the road, and the Irish looked shaky as hell in their conference tourney. Take a flier on George Mason split with the points and on the money line.

Marquette -6 over Kentucky: KY didn't beat a single tournament bound team on the road this season, and the guards turn the ball over 16 times a game. That ain't gonna cut it against a Marquette team that may send 3 guards to the NBA. Hit Marquette hard!

Also, when this week unfolds you should immediately punch in the face without warning anyone that says...

* "I'm a Bracketologist!"

* "In the tournament, it's all about guard play!"

* "I knew (Team A) was going to win, but I didn't take them!"

Go get 'em, and I'll check in Saturday to see how bad we're getting our collective asses kicked...