Sunday, October 7, 2012

Nurse the Hate: Hate The NFL

I knew yesterday was bound to happen, yet I was powerless to stop it.  I knew nothing about Cal.  I knew even less about Texas Tech if that's possible.  Yet, I threw money on these games with the sheer confidence of a man that got lucky on a couple of baseball underdogs.  It was a cry for help, and not one of you stopped me.  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  Now you have left me with one thing to do, and that's get after today's NFL games with such fervor that an intervention may need to be called.

The Browns are playing the Giants today in a game everyone in NE Ohio assumes will end in yet another humiliation for the Browns.  The Browns are 0-4 and have never seemed in danger of actually winning a game.  That being said, they only really got blown off the field by Buffalo.  It seems like a perfect game to take Cleveland +8 and chuckle knowingly as the Giants win by seven.  The line hasn't always been eight though.  The line opened up at Giants -13 and is now all the way down to -8.  I can't ever recall seeing an NFL line move five points unless a starting QB was decapitated in a horrible boating accident.  (Cue Richard Dreyfuss cleaning glasses saying, "Boating accident?  Boating accident!?!  That was no boating accident!")

That means one of two things.  1)  The big money players jumped on Cleveland with the points, and all the Rubes money put together can't come close to canceling it out.  Ten guys put $10 million on Cleveland and Everyone Else together can't come close to equalling that. The books are desperately dropping the line so the guy at the Plumber's Convention at Bally's will say "The Giants won the Super Bowl last year.  Cleveland sucks.  This is easy money.  Gimme $50 on New York!"  2)  Or EVERYONE is on Cleveland and they need as much money as possible on the Giants to balance the books.  "Hal.  Have you seen the totals on this Cleveland/Giants game?  We better put some money on the Giants side, or the Boys Back Home are not going to be happy.  Drop it down to ten.  We did that already?  Jesus...  OK.  Drop it down to eight."

If EVERYONE is on one side, I'm on the other.  I'm guessing that the books got caught at 13, and now they are overcompensating with the eight.  I wouldn't be surprised to see big money trying to middle it.  Hell, I would.  Giants -8.

You really have to bet on this New England v Denver game.  Even if you are reading this and saying, "Damn.  I wish he posted another story about Leo shitting somewhere instead of this sports shit.".  Get excited.  It's the big Soap Opera game of the day.  Big stars meeting on the field of conquest.  Superlatives at every turn.  Lots of flowery compliments floating to all sides.  Words like "genius" used to describe guys that throw balls to other guys.  It's really the best.

If you have seen the pregame promos, you would be under the impression that Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are playing one-on-one with each other as "Peyton Manning and the denver broncos take on Tom Brady...and the new england patriots."  You wouldn't even know that there are other guys on the teams.  Why is it whenever these Brady v Manning games happen, it always seems like Brady is home?  Do the Patriots actually play road games, or did the NFL decide that it was better for ratings if they played all their games at home since they knew the right camera angle to show owner Robert Kraft every ten minutes?  What's the over/under on when the announcing team mentions Kraft's wife died?  I think the Mirage has it listed at 11 minutes.

I'm not totally sold in on New England.  I know they will finish 11-5, win the division, and play a home playoff game vs Peyton Manning in January, but they don't have that "pound your prick into the dirt" thing they usually have.  They appear to be just a pretty good team.  Denver was a pretty good team last year when Jesus Christ was their QB, and they won games exclusively with great defense for 3.5 quarters and then Divine Intervention finished it off.  While not having Jesus on your team is a loss on the personnel side, Peyton Manning is still pretty good.  I think this game is decided by a late field goal, so I am taking Denver +6.5 despite the fact that there has already been a "roughing the passer" call on Denver because the wind whipped Brady's hair.  

Current Record Vs Spread:  4-4



At October 13, 2012 at 1:13:00 AM EDT , Blogger AZ said...

Favorite comment from my buddy's head coach when he played baseball at YSU was when he was telling a story of playing a spring game down South at a small school that had a baseball stadium better than most professional teams back then when they lost a game on a GAME WINNING three run homer in the bottom of the 9th. Felt like I was there when he said you should have seen them. 600 people exploding like Daffy Duck as if they had just middled the game. Feel sorry for those who do not understand this. Also, reminds me of middling Don Shula's record breaking win against Philadelphia. All I have to say is grandma, who only spoke Slovak, rode on the huge middle train.


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