Sunday, December 7, 2014

Nurse the Hate: Hate the NFL Again

It is a very odd December for Browns fans.  Normally it is time to attempt to give away unwanted game tickets and sullenly drink cans of Bud Light in the cold municipal parking lot as the wind blasts your skull off of Lake Erie.  After a long processional walk to the stadium with little conversation and the dull thudding of rubber soled boots, the reward is a teeth clenching wait in a men’s room line where getting your cock out to piss is like unwrapping a complicated holiday gift box under 13 layers of clothes.  Finally you sit in the chilly plastic seat in the half empty stadium where you will grumble “…Fucking Browns…” for the next 3.5 hours until the inevitable loss.  This year is different though…

Amazingly the Browns are in the playoff hunt.  Granted, it’s a long shot, but they are still in it.  The long awaited QB controversy has once again reared its ugly head, and the team finds themselves mentioned once again on national sports coverage, albeit negatively.  The injuries have begun to mount and the Browns are really starting to look like “the Browns” again.  This has resulted in a staggering 80+% of the money being on Indy this week as the Colts visit Cleveland.  I can’t argue with The Public coming to this conclusion.  It completely makes sense.  The Colts should drop 31 on the Browns and it appears unlikely that Cleveland can score more than 13 points with Hoyer leading and offense that looks “Weedenesque” at times over the last few weeks.  It's all so obvious.  It’s the perfect storm.  This is forcing my hand.  God damn it.  I’m on Cleveland +3.5.

It makes no sense.  Andrew Luck is a machine.  The Colts are a legit team.  The Browns have the stench of impending doom all over them.  I know.  I know.  But take into account that the Colts are a good home team in the dome, not so good road team at 12-11 on the road in the Luck era.  Think about that.  That includes going to Houston, Jacksonville, and Tennessee every year.  Now they have to run around on the soggy grass in Cleveland where the Browns defense has actually held opposing QBs to the lowest QBR in the league.  Who knew, right?  Also, as I rail again and again, ALWAYS bet against public opinion.  ALWAYS.  People are little better than simple apes.  They don’t know anything about anything.  Faith in them will always disappoint.  It’s that damn hook in the 3.5 I’m counting on.  With great misgivings, I’m on Cleveland +3.5. 

I think New England is the best team in the NFL.  I think they are so good that they decided not to show everything they had versus Green Bay last week because they think they might play them in the Super Bowl.  How about that for a good conspiracy theory?  This week the Patriots stay on the road and head to San Diego to play a pretty good Chargers team.  The Chargers have that feel of a team that will beat the fuck out of whoever they play in the first round of the AFC Playoffs and then flame out 24-10 in the next round.  Afterwards everyone in San Diego will go “That was fun.  Hey, want to go to the beach?” and the Playoffs will continue on without much notice. 

It is hard to remember a time when the Patriots weren't an elite team.  Check out these stats.  The Patriots are 30-10 after a loss against the spread.  They are 21-9 against the spread when not laying a touchdown or more.  This indicates that they are a really good team and have been a really good team forever.  I will take the really good team over the pretty good team and give the points.  New England -4.5

Season Record 17-13-1


At December 8, 2014 at 11:57:00 AM EST , Blogger SilentWay said...

Well, at least you beat your spread.

At December 10, 2014 at 2:12:00 PM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

That's all that matters!


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