Sunday, November 9, 2014

Nurse the Hate: Hate the NFL 2014 Week 10

I'm going to bet on the Saints today at home.  Let's get that out of the way.  I'm feeling a bit conflicted about this as I recently read an opinion that backed a suspicion I have had that the Saints fans are the most obnoxious in the NFL.  This takes some doing, as ALL NFL FANS are completely obnoxious.  There isn't a stadium in the country where after an afternoon sitting in an end zone or upper deck the phrase "What a bunch of dicks" won't be uttered.  There's just something about that New Orleans smug attitude of passing off things that are shitty as being "real New Orleans".  Po-boys are all good and all, but let's be honest.  A Philly Cheesesteak kicks the crap out of those sandwiches.  "Oh, but the music in New Orleans is amazing!"  Um, yeah, 70 years ago it was...  I don't think anyone can refer to the Neville Brothers as "amazing" and keep a straight face.  Maybe I'm wrong and you are sitting in your house eating a beignet (or "doughnut") while spinning a Louie Armstrong record.  I don't know.  All I know is that by placing a healthy wager on the Saints at home vs the 49ers, I will be forced to watch whatever lame ass "real New Orleans" images the network broadcast puts up while interspliced with shots of Jim Harbaugh freaking out like a suburban Dad at his eight year olds game.  It's not pleasant viewing.

I am going to subject myself to this because of the following:  The Saints are 19-1-1 against the spread at home during the Sean Payton era.  That is a number that gets my attention.  San Francisco has all sorts of wonderful stats about their recent past, but the worm seems to have turned there.  The players hate the coach.  The coach hates the GM.  The GM hates the coach.  Their good players are mostly hurt or facing legal problems.  It's sort of a mess.  I think New Orleans is better than their record indicates, and they win this game.  Afterwards a bunch of people will get even drunker and then urinate in the streets.  Don't worry.  That's "real New Orleans".  New Orleans -4.

You know who looks really good right now?  Green Bay.  You know who doesn't look very good?  Chicago.  Do you know who you don't want to play if you are a bad team?  Green Bay in Green Bay.  Chicago has the #31 pass defense.  That might be an issue in facing Green Bay which makes even good defenses look like developmentally challenged third graders having to deal with the high school varsity team.  Chicago is 2-11 against the spread in their division.  That's not too good.  The Pack have covered 9 of 11 when favored by a touchdown or more.  That is good.  I am not a learned man.  I struggle with even simple ideas.  However, there are two things that I know to be true.  1)  If you are behind a chunky gal in yoga pants at Starbucks, her drink order is going to involve whipped cream.  2)  The Packers are going to kick the fuck out of the Bears and Brandon Marshall will go Def Con 4 afterwards in the locker room.  By the following Tuesday, the city of Chicago will have convinced themselves they are one new head coach or QB away from the Super Bowl.  They aren't.  They suck.  Green Bay -7

Season Record:  13-9-1


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